Hi,
This is not a trick question but how well do you know your children?
Again, it all boils down to the amount of time you spend with them and how you observe their behaviour or character.
Let me share with you my own experiences to illustrate what I am trying to say with you.
When Jason was young, he got sick quite often and I think it was normal as he was growing up and being attacked by all the bacteria or virus. This is typical of any child in their growing years; running nose etc.....
So after visiting the doctors and always getting the same medication, we started to stock up the remaining bottle of medicine in the fridge after consulting the doctor.
1st incident :
One evening, the maid made some bird nest soup for us and we decided to give some to Jason. after all, this is expensive stuff and can only do good and not harm him thoguh he was maybe 3 or 4 years old then.
After taking some bird nest, Jason started to develop a running nose and watery eyes ( much later, we learned that this is a typical symptom of allergy for all of us ). I gave him some of the medicine that we had kept in the fridge but he started to breathe heavily and experienced some difficulty. ( BTW, the doctor told me that I did the right thing by giving him that medicine otherwise the situation could have been worse! )
We immediately took him to a 24 hours clinic. I was carrying him and could feel his heavy breathing though he was almost 'knocked out' or sleepy. When we finally saw the doctor, he told us that he is allegic to bird nest and it is very common among children. That was news to me!
There was an option of medicine ( recovery would be slow ) or an injection ( immediate recovery ) and Jason decided on the injection. It was only then I realised that he must have felt very uncomfortable. Apparently, the allergy has caused his throat or upper windpipe to swell and close the passage for breathing. On hindsight, I should have taken him to A&E instead as we waited for about 1/2 hour before we saw the doctor!
So what I am saying here is that if I have not be observant about Jason's condition and just let him go to bed for the night, I cannot imagine what could have been the outcome. He could have been choked and never wake up again..!
Remember your child may be too young to tell you what he feels and he may just go to sleep ...!
2nd incident :
After dinner, my maid gave Jason his usual dosage of multi-vitamins.
I received a call from the maid saying that Jason was complaining of being a bit choked and has something in his throat but he could still breath. He was a bit older then and could tell us his discomfort.
I rushed home from office and decided that Jason being a very tough boy that I know, he would not complain over something that was not bothering him. Thankfully, he could breath easily.
I took him to our family doctor and he could not find anything visible that could have caused any discomfort that Jason mentioned. But I insisted that there must be something otherwise Jason would not be telling us about it as I know he is a tough boy and can handle much pain or discomfort.
So the doctor tried to make him vomit or cough out whatever could be in his throat. Initially, nothing happened and just when we were to give up, Jason coughed out his vitamin tablet!
Apparently, Jason was suppose to have chewed the vitamin tablet which was a star shape but he somehow swallowed it instead.
In this case, knowing that Jason is a very tough boy and would not lie to us, I supported his complaint that he has something in his throat. Luckily, it was a vitamin tablet and I suppose it could have dissolved very slowly eventually but what if it was something else...?
So you must know your child well and not take their feedback or complaints lightly, especially when they are young.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Quality Time With Your Children
Hi,
Both my wife and I were near the peak of our career when Jason came into our life.
As in case of most young couple in Singapore without parents living with them, we have to employ a maid to look after Jason while we were at work during the day.
In our case, my parents from Penang came down to stay for 2-3 months to train our maid. We also decided to send Jason to Kinderland childcare school so that he could socialise with other children of his age instead of spending so much time with our maid.
We fear that he would get too close to our maid and learn to speak Philipino English; after hearing such stories from friends.
Still, I would say it was a risk that we took to leave the kid and the whole house to our maid. But that was typical of young working couple and even it is happening today, I believe!
So we claimed that we spent Quality Time with our son......!
Honestly, sometimes I think it is just an excuse or a term that we used to justify the situation that we have to face.
Why do I say it as such?
Jason also woke up early and he saw us off to work. Most of the time, he cried at the door when we left for work. We left with a heavy heart to work...sigh.... I can still remember that pitiful look of his at the door.
We would try to rush home but hardly on the dot, due to the nature of our work as executives or managers. So we were left with only a few hours with him before we call it a night.
I must say that my wife was able to give more of her time to Jason during the first 10 years before I was able to spend more time with him. Luckily, our career allowed at least one of us to be there for him; eg . My wife attended all his kinderarten concerts while I missed a few of them and in Primary 1 and 2, too.
So what is quality time?
I think that you can only called it quality time provided you are able to give your 100% during that period with your child and not distracted by your work or other matters.
We realised that we were not giving Jason 100% of our time when he was in Primary 5 and 6 as we were so occupied with our office work. We started to do more work with the availability of notebooks and broadband at home to link up to the office mail system. Also, we were at the peak of our careers.
But after having said that, there were memorable quality time that I spent with Jason playing with him on bed ( eg. remember our wrestling in bed, in my earlier post ).
However, I still remember what I read in the New Straits Times on a high profile lady banker when she retired. She said that there is no such thing as spending quality time with her children as she always had her work at the back of her head, working at such a high position in the bank, and she regreted not being able to spend more time with her children and watched them grow up.
So my dear firends, it is still a challenge to find sufficient Quality Time for your children, I believe.
As one of my friends told me, parents will only have 10 years of your children life as they will want to be on their own when they reach puberty.
Very true, while Jason is still very close to us today and we still spend the weekend together as a family committment, he is now in his teens and he goes out with his classmates more and also wants his privacy. We can only hold his hands or hug him at home else we will embarass him.
So parents, make the best of the first 10 years with your children and lay a good foundation for the family, especially in terms of communication and family values.
Many parents did not make time for their kids when they are young but when they reached puberty, they begin to worry and try to be close or 'control' their movement. Too late...my friends!
Find that quality time NOW!
Happy parenting,
David
Both my wife and I were near the peak of our career when Jason came into our life.
As in case of most young couple in Singapore without parents living with them, we have to employ a maid to look after Jason while we were at work during the day.
In our case, my parents from Penang came down to stay for 2-3 months to train our maid. We also decided to send Jason to Kinderland childcare school so that he could socialise with other children of his age instead of spending so much time with our maid.
We fear that he would get too close to our maid and learn to speak Philipino English; after hearing such stories from friends.
Still, I would say it was a risk that we took to leave the kid and the whole house to our maid. But that was typical of young working couple and even it is happening today, I believe!
So we claimed that we spent Quality Time with our son......!
Honestly, sometimes I think it is just an excuse or a term that we used to justify the situation that we have to face.
Why do I say it as such?
Jason also woke up early and he saw us off to work. Most of the time, he cried at the door when we left for work. We left with a heavy heart to work...sigh.... I can still remember that pitiful look of his at the door.
We would try to rush home but hardly on the dot, due to the nature of our work as executives or managers. So we were left with only a few hours with him before we call it a night.
I must say that my wife was able to give more of her time to Jason during the first 10 years before I was able to spend more time with him. Luckily, our career allowed at least one of us to be there for him; eg . My wife attended all his kinderarten concerts while I missed a few of them and in Primary 1 and 2, too.
So what is quality time?
I think that you can only called it quality time provided you are able to give your 100% during that period with your child and not distracted by your work or other matters.
We realised that we were not giving Jason 100% of our time when he was in Primary 5 and 6 as we were so occupied with our office work. We started to do more work with the availability of notebooks and broadband at home to link up to the office mail system. Also, we were at the peak of our careers.
But after having said that, there were memorable quality time that I spent with Jason playing with him on bed ( eg. remember our wrestling in bed, in my earlier post ).
However, I still remember what I read in the New Straits Times on a high profile lady banker when she retired. She said that there is no such thing as spending quality time with her children as she always had her work at the back of her head, working at such a high position in the bank, and she regreted not being able to spend more time with her children and watched them grow up.
So my dear firends, it is still a challenge to find sufficient Quality Time for your children, I believe.
As one of my friends told me, parents will only have 10 years of your children life as they will want to be on their own when they reach puberty.
Very true, while Jason is still very close to us today and we still spend the weekend together as a family committment, he is now in his teens and he goes out with his classmates more and also wants his privacy. We can only hold his hands or hug him at home else we will embarass him.
So parents, make the best of the first 10 years with your children and lay a good foundation for the family, especially in terms of communication and family values.
Many parents did not make time for their kids when they are young but when they reached puberty, they begin to worry and try to be close or 'control' their movement. Too late...my friends!
Find that quality time NOW!
Happy parenting,
David
Friday, November 21, 2008
Cut On The Back Of The Head
Hi,
During Jason's first year in kindergarten, he was pushed by another boy and fell, having a small cut at the back of his head.
My dear wife was called by the school and she took him to the doctor and subsequently to a nearby hospital for an x-ray on his head.
We were upset but happy that there was no serious injury shown by the x-ray other than a cut that was stitched up on the head.
While we did not make a big fuss over the accident though my wife was quite upset about how the teachers were looking after the children during playtime.
The parents of the boy who pushed Jason, bought him a toy and apologised through the school and subsequently withdrew the son from the school. We did not pursue the matter so I am not sure whether the parents felt guilty about the matter or the school has asked the boy to leave..?
Anyway, after a week or so, I took Jason back to the hospital to have the stitches removed.
Today, there is not hair growing there but there is a scar on the head. Luckily, it is not visible or easily noticed unless you search for it.
If you have read my earlier post, this is the 2nd major accident and he almost blinded himself in the 1st incident.
David
During Jason's first year in kindergarten, he was pushed by another boy and fell, having a small cut at the back of his head.
My dear wife was called by the school and she took him to the doctor and subsequently to a nearby hospital for an x-ray on his head.
We were upset but happy that there was no serious injury shown by the x-ray other than a cut that was stitched up on the head.
While we did not make a big fuss over the accident though my wife was quite upset about how the teachers were looking after the children during playtime.
The parents of the boy who pushed Jason, bought him a toy and apologised through the school and subsequently withdrew the son from the school. We did not pursue the matter so I am not sure whether the parents felt guilty about the matter or the school has asked the boy to leave..?
Anyway, after a week or so, I took Jason back to the hospital to have the stitches removed.
Today, there is not hair growing there but there is a scar on the head. Luckily, it is not visible or easily noticed unless you search for it.
If you have read my earlier post, this is the 2nd major accident and he almost blinded himself in the 1st incident.
David
Monday, November 17, 2008
Give Your Kids Advance Notice
Hi,
This is a very good parenting tip that my brother taught me, give some advance notice to your kids so as to better manage their expectations.
What do I mean by that?
This is best illustrated by a few examples.
When you take your kids to the playground and it is time to leave, tell your kids that they have another 10 minutes to play.
When your kids are playing at home and you want to take them out for a meal or some appointments like visiting relataives, shopping, etc..... tell them that we are leaving in 15 minutes time.
By doing so, we have founnd that the children are more prepared to stop what they are doing and follow us eventhough they may be reluctant to do so.
Though when they are young and may not even understand how long is 5 or 10 minutes, it seems to work for our kids. There was one or two occassion when I forgot to give ample notice; ie. I was rushing for time so I said that we have to leave in 10 minutes but I actually left after a few minutes instead. They would usually protest and said 'So fast already...?' or 'Can we have another 5 minutes?'.
I still give Jason advance notice today but of course, I cannot cheat him with the timing though...ha..ha... He may negotiate for more time though if he is playing some computer game and cannot complete it in good time.
So try it out on your kids.....give them some advance notice.
BTW, I think it works on adults as well too.
Happy parenting..!
David
This is a very good parenting tip that my brother taught me, give some advance notice to your kids so as to better manage their expectations.
What do I mean by that?
This is best illustrated by a few examples.
When you take your kids to the playground and it is time to leave, tell your kids that they have another 10 minutes to play.
When your kids are playing at home and you want to take them out for a meal or some appointments like visiting relataives, shopping, etc..... tell them that we are leaving in 15 minutes time.
By doing so, we have founnd that the children are more prepared to stop what they are doing and follow us eventhough they may be reluctant to do so.
Though when they are young and may not even understand how long is 5 or 10 minutes, it seems to work for our kids. There was one or two occassion when I forgot to give ample notice; ie. I was rushing for time so I said that we have to leave in 10 minutes but I actually left after a few minutes instead. They would usually protest and said 'So fast already...?' or 'Can we have another 5 minutes?'.
I still give Jason advance notice today but of course, I cannot cheat him with the timing though...ha..ha... He may negotiate for more time though if he is playing some computer game and cannot complete it in good time.
So try it out on your kids.....give them some advance notice.
BTW, I think it works on adults as well too.
Happy parenting..!
David
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Watch TV With Your Kid
Hi,
Please find time to watch TV with your kid and be involved with what they are watching.
What do I mean by that?
Sitting next to your kid while he is watchng TV and you are doing something else is a NO..NO..!
To be involved means to watch it with him and be able to discuss about what both of you are watching.
Why?
Firstly, you may want to censor or control what he is watching. Eg. I would tell Jason that this is could be a scary movie and that it was not suitable for him though we did watched a few episodes of X-Files...!
Secondly, you would want to explain to him that some of the action that he is watching are not real but stunts. Eg. Superman flying in the sky or Spiderman jumping all over so that he would not try to imitate the acts.
Thirdly, you should also explain or discuss the lessons that could be learned from the shows. Eg. the sense of friendship or loyalty as shown on the TV.
So if you find the time and watch TV with your children, you can make it into a learning experience with them besides laying the foundation or principles that you want them to internalize.
Of course, do not 'kill' the thrill of sheer entertainment by always putting forth some values in life or making watching TV into a teaching affair as your kids would 'shoo' you off ...ha..ha...
I watched cartoons, children programmes ( no matter how silly it may seems to us, adults! ) and even programmes like WWE or World Wrestling Entertainment..!
For eg., while watching WWE with Jason, I told him that it is all fake because if I really punch a person like what he saw on TV, it is unlikely that the person could stand up that soon. It is all glamorous stuff on TV.
Luckily, we happened to see a documentary on how they recruited and trained wrestlers on TV and he was convinced by what I said. In fact, it was an eye-opener to both of us...to be honest! After that, we lost interest in watching WWE.
However, we would wrestle in bed almost every evening at one stage and we really have fun and bonding was definitely established. We did moves like those we saw on TV like The Rock...... BUT I told him this is all play and not to play like that with his friends. He was around 4 years old then..!
BTW, we saw the WWE in our Indoor Stadium when they were in town and it was a fantastic experience for both of us! He was a few years older by then, around 6 or 7 years old.
Today, we still watch TV together.....eg. we would watch Channel 8 9pm serial and discuss about the various roles in the show.... and partly, to improve our Mandarin too.
Ocassionally, we still go to the movies together if his friends have seen them without him for whatever reasons.
So my tip to parents is that you must be engaged with them when watching TV with your kids and take the opportunity to share your values with them or solicit their thoughts too.
BTW, Jason & I watch EPL soccer games during the weekends and we are Manchester United (MU) supporters...! Here we are in MU jerseys taken on his 14th birthday.
Happy parenting!
David
Please find time to watch TV with your kid and be involved with what they are watching.
What do I mean by that?
Sitting next to your kid while he is watchng TV and you are doing something else is a NO..NO..!
To be involved means to watch it with him and be able to discuss about what both of you are watching.
Why?
Firstly, you may want to censor or control what he is watching. Eg. I would tell Jason that this is could be a scary movie and that it was not suitable for him though we did watched a few episodes of X-Files...!
Secondly, you would want to explain to him that some of the action that he is watching are not real but stunts. Eg. Superman flying in the sky or Spiderman jumping all over so that he would not try to imitate the acts.
Thirdly, you should also explain or discuss the lessons that could be learned from the shows. Eg. the sense of friendship or loyalty as shown on the TV.
So if you find the time and watch TV with your children, you can make it into a learning experience with them besides laying the foundation or principles that you want them to internalize.
Of course, do not 'kill' the thrill of sheer entertainment by always putting forth some values in life or making watching TV into a teaching affair as your kids would 'shoo' you off ...ha..ha...
I watched cartoons, children programmes ( no matter how silly it may seems to us, adults! ) and even programmes like WWE or World Wrestling Entertainment..!
For eg., while watching WWE with Jason, I told him that it is all fake because if I really punch a person like what he saw on TV, it is unlikely that the person could stand up that soon. It is all glamorous stuff on TV.
Luckily, we happened to see a documentary on how they recruited and trained wrestlers on TV and he was convinced by what I said. In fact, it was an eye-opener to both of us...to be honest! After that, we lost interest in watching WWE.
However, we would wrestle in bed almost every evening at one stage and we really have fun and bonding was definitely established. We did moves like those we saw on TV like The Rock...... BUT I told him this is all play and not to play like that with his friends. He was around 4 years old then..!
BTW, we saw the WWE in our Indoor Stadium when they were in town and it was a fantastic experience for both of us! He was a few years older by then, around 6 or 7 years old.
Today, we still watch TV together.....eg. we would watch Channel 8 9pm serial and discuss about the various roles in the show.... and partly, to improve our Mandarin too.
Ocassionally, we still go to the movies together if his friends have seen them without him for whatever reasons.
So my tip to parents is that you must be engaged with them when watching TV with your kids and take the opportunity to share your values with them or solicit their thoughts too.
BTW, Jason & I watch EPL soccer games during the weekends and we are Manchester United (MU) supporters...! Here we are in MU jerseys taken on his 14th birthday.
Happy parenting!
David
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