Time with Grandparents

Hi,

My parents are living in Penang, Malaysia and we make an effort to visit them at least once a year or they would visit us in Singapore too.

My mum-in-law lives in Toa Payoh and we used to drop by for dinner at least twice a week after work and school. It used to be a meeting place too for Jason to catch up with his cousins. Since my mum-in-law has stopped cooking for us, we only catch up during the weekends at her place on a fortnightly basis.

I am keen that Jason have sufficient contact time with his grandparents as that what they look forward to; ie seeing their grandchildren. Also, by showing how we care for our parents, I hope he will learn our family values and will care for us too when we are at that age.

Children learn by example, seriously. So it is important that we cultivate such family values into them.

Honestly, as Jason grew older into his teens and sometimes the timings to meet his cousins at my mum-in-law's place may not be feasible. He would feel bored and rather be at home; eg playing his PC games etc....

However, I explained to him that the grandparents look forward to seeing him and they might leave us anytime so we should make an effort to spend time with them; even if it is just an hour only.

Today, he is receptive to the fortnightly visit to see his grandmother even if his cousins could not turn up.

Similarly, last year when I have to go back often to Penang to take my father to the hospital for his follow-up on his colon cancer recovery, it could be quite boring to be taking short holidays to the same place, Penang!

But I am glad that my family went back with me most of the time unless there was a conflict with work or school schedule. I also tried to make it more interesting by staying at the Penang beach resort for a night or two.

Here are a few photos of Jason with his grandparents :







We took my father to China as it was his wish to visit China at least once before it is too late.










We visited Penang and my father took us to a seafood restaurant by a river in the mainland.












My wife and Jason with his grandmother at her 80th birthday.












So please find the time to connect with your children with their grandparents. This is also family bonding time too.


Happy Parenting....


David

Outdoor Activities - Soccer, Swimming, Cycling

Hi,

You should get your children to do some outdoor sports or games like soccer, cycling, jogging, basketball, swimming, etc...

I believe that all children should learn to swim and cycle as these are basic skills that they will use one day.

At one time, there were quite a handful of kids drowning in private pools in condominiums while visiting their friends, etc...

Besides, Singapore is an island so we should be able to swim as a basic surviving skill.

Why cycle? It is easier to learn when they are young. Also, if they go to the park or camps, they can rent bicycles and cycle together. Also, if they ever go overseas to study and work, cycling is a common means of transport in places like Holland, US, China, ......


I used to cycle to school during my secondary school days in Malaysia.

Jason was keen on soccer and I trained him the basic skills in an open field near our home. It was tough on my two knees but it was fun and we also have a great time bonding together.

Jason eventually played soccer for his Temasek Primary School and continue to do so for his St. Patrick's Secondary School now. We are proud of his achievements in soccer including street soccer too.


BTW, I also played soccer for my secondary school and so did my father who played at club level in Penang.









Jas posing in our garden; one of my favourite photos of him!

















Warming up; our house is just near this field which has been turned into a street soccer court and called Aida Park now.

Jason running with the soccer ball; nice shot!

Father and son.....!

So, find some time to do outdoor activities with your children ...... great bonding.... and also they will be learning some lifetime skills too.....

Happy Parenting.....

David

Beware Computer Obsessed Kids

Hi,

I extracted this from TODAY Mon February 9, 2009 .

Importantly, be involved with your kids when introducing them to PC, gaming console like Xbox, PS2, PSP, Wii, etc......

Know what they are playing and how often and how long too....

Also, get them involved with outdoor activities like swimming, cycling, going to the communitiy libraries to read or borrow books, etc...

If you do not get involved early and then you realised that it is time for their PSLE, 'O' level exams,....... or worst still, they are in puberty....., it will be very tough on you to change them at this crucial stages in their lives.

So start early and and not used these facilities like PC and video gaming to keep your kids occupied so that you can get on with your own committments.

I know of friends with kids who play their PC games until late at night and their lifestyle is quite a mess.... leading to family quarrels, etc....

One kid got beaten up the following day in school by his friend over some mis-understanding as they were playing in a network game the previous night.

One kid could not stop as he was playing until certain high level and then managed to sell his character or weapon (?) for $50. He thought it was good money but can you make a career out of it long term?

I have no objections to gaming but parents should be involved and be observant that their kids do not become addicted to it.

Please read my earlier postings on gaming if you have missed them at

http://parentingmemoriesofmychild.blogspot.com/2008/12/early-exposure-to-pc-gaming.html

http://parentingmemoriesofmychild.blogspot.com/2008/12/gaming-consoles-like-ps2-xbox-psp.html

I think this could be a serious problem today but parents can manage it if they are aware of the consequences of lack of control or involvement in their kids gaming activities.

David

We Cannot Have Own Children Custom Made

Hi,

I was having a conversation with my brother and he said that we cannot choose our relatives but we can choose our friends...!

So it got me thinking about it.........

Well, we are born into a family but we meet strangers and make friends with those we can get along well.

Today, we can try to influence the sex of our baby being conceived, based on what I have read but I will not go into details on it.

But we cannot have our child custom made like buying a Cabbage Doll; eg a baby that will grow up to 6 ft all, weigh 70 kg, good in sports like football, and straight As student, etc.....

Neither can the baby choose his or her parents....!

Since we choose to be parents, we have to be responsible for the children we brought into this world and not rely on the teachers or school or our live-in maids.

I may sound harsh but if the children fail in their lives, I think the parents have to take responsibility for the upbringing that could have caused such failures especially if they were not given sufficient love and guidance.

The main point I am driving at is that it is very much up to the parents to guide and groom the baby to what we want him to be; ie teaching him the proper family and social values and eventually, as he grows older, he is able to make good judgements and improve or enhance all these values as he sees fit.

The child will eventually be a parent himself and the whole cycle will be repeated.

With the proper guidance on social values, he will also choose his friends wisely and create long lasting friendships in the various stages of his life.

But he cannot choose who are his parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, cousins, and members in the family tree.

Yes, it is so true that we cannot choose our relatives but we can choose our friends!

David

School Concerts

Hi,

If your children is performing in any of their school concerts, please make an effort to attend them even if they are playing a small role.

They will be excited and proud to see you there and I am sure the reverse is true too.

Jason was active in drama during his Primary school days and we were always there to support him.

Many parents would be present and busy taking photos or video of their kids too.

Here are a few photos taken of Jason :

Kinderland concert in 1995.

Temasek Primary school concerts....

Jason acting as a Pirate...!

Jason was in the Speech and Drama Club so he acted every year except in Primary 6 when we cut down many of his activities, in preparation for his PSLE exam.

He also auditioned and was invited by one of the drama recording companies contracted by MediaCorp, to act in one of those Kids Central drama. It was a small part but took the whole day and was paid a very small sum only. Good experience but we felt that it was not worth it.

I strongly advise you to find the time to catch some of your children concerts, if not all, as these will be sweet memories that will last forever and you would be glad that you were there.

Happy Parenting......!

David