Our maid of 12 years went home for good after Jason's 'O' level exam, recently.
We decided not to have a replacement and try to cope with the household chores on our own other than ordering 'tingkat' food on weekdays.
Jason has been cleaning the table after dinner and he has also asked us on how to do some simple cooking; eg cup noodles, scrambled eggs.
We also have to start giving him some independence or let him be on his own instead of mothering him.
What do I mean?
Here are some examples to illustrate on what we have done.
We left him on his own in the house ( no more maid, remember? ) and he has to make his own lunch as he slept in and missed his breakfast, since we have a lunch appointment one day.
He wanted to organise a BBQ to celebrate the New Year with his friends so we booked a chalet but left the organisation of the BBQ to him. Glad that he managed to rope in a few friends to buy the stuff and brought it to the chalet. I gave some advice to him but he managed to carry it out with his friends...... so I was quite impressed.
Early this year, his friend organised a BBQ in ECP but no one could start the fire...... a disaster indeed and they brought back all the stuff.... poor boys!
But this time, he told me he has 2 friends who are boy scouts in school so no problem.
He asked for our permission to go out with his friends more often as he wanted to enjoy their time together before they go separate ways...ie JC or Poly.....
We are okay with it as long as we are aware of his activities and who he is going out with.... base on trust and that we have lay down a good foundation and principles for him to follow...
Jas is 16+ and soon will be a NS man and then 21.......
Letting him go is painful but essential as this is part of the cycle....
We were a bit worry about this chalet cum BBQ outing but we know that we just have to let go and that he has been well groomed to make the right decisions on his own.
Happy New Year and may your parenting year in 2010 be better or less painful.......!
David
Friday, January 1, 2010
Monday, December 21, 2009
December School Holidays
Yes, it is this time of the year where our children is having a big break from school....!
Since Jason just sat for his 'O' level exams., and he has studied so hard for it..... he wants to just relax and play.....
We talked about his working during the holidays but since he did not show that much interest, I decided not to push him into it.
So far, he has been on 3 short trips...
- Visited his grandparents in Penang, Malaysia
- Flew to Vietnam with his classmates, a reward that they won for being the Best Class for 2 consecutive years
- Took a coach to Ipoh, Malaysia to attend the last day dinner of a Leadership seminar through his school too
Other than that, he has been playing basketball, street soccer and watching movies with his friends....
He also continue doing some athletics training with his school and won the 4oom individual run yesterday at a friendly meet.
Well, I would say he is almost out every other day ...... so we are ok with it as long as he keeps us well informed of his activities and friends that he is hanging out with.
We have also booked a chalet and BBQ pit for him at Downtown East on the eve of New Year as he wanted to celebrate it with his friends...
We also bought him a Xbox 360 with 2 games, FIFA 10 and HALO 3, so that he can stay home more often and also invite a few friends over too. So this is his early Xmas present too!
Yes, no enrichment class, tuition, etc......... This is one holiday that he is as free as a bird...
He would have taken up drum lessons too but it only starts in Jan 2010.
Well, I think he deserves this break before he goes into JC or Poly depending on his results and his interest that he wants to pursue.
So parents, remember to take a break yourself too......
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year....
David
Since Jason just sat for his 'O' level exams., and he has studied so hard for it..... he wants to just relax and play.....
We talked about his working during the holidays but since he did not show that much interest, I decided not to push him into it.
So far, he has been on 3 short trips...
- Visited his grandparents in Penang, Malaysia
- Flew to Vietnam with his classmates, a reward that they won for being the Best Class for 2 consecutive years
- Took a coach to Ipoh, Malaysia to attend the last day dinner of a Leadership seminar through his school too
Other than that, he has been playing basketball, street soccer and watching movies with his friends....
He also continue doing some athletics training with his school and won the 4oom individual run yesterday at a friendly meet.
Well, I would say he is almost out every other day ...... so we are ok with it as long as he keeps us well informed of his activities and friends that he is hanging out with.
We have also booked a chalet and BBQ pit for him at Downtown East on the eve of New Year as he wanted to celebrate it with his friends...
We also bought him a Xbox 360 with 2 games, FIFA 10 and HALO 3, so that he can stay home more often and also invite a few friends over too. So this is his early Xmas present too!
Yes, no enrichment class, tuition, etc......... This is one holiday that he is as free as a bird...
He would have taken up drum lessons too but it only starts in Jan 2010.
Well, I think he deserves this break before he goes into JC or Poly depending on his results and his interest that he wants to pursue.
So parents, remember to take a break yourself too......
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year....
David
Friday, December 4, 2009
Mandarin & PSLE
There is some debate on how Mandarin has been taught in primary schools and the proposed changes to be made, to keep up with today's needs.
Parents have also written to the Press and commended the new proposal + sharing their problems their kids were facing that led them to uproot their family to overseas so that the kids can avoid learning Mandarin.
Similarly, for having to take PSLE exams too.
Jason has 2 primary school classmates that have taken that move; one went to Perth and the other to Geelong in Australia. Both are doing well and really enjoying the education system there.
Jason was also having difficulty with his Mandarin and was not motivated to learn it. Initially, he even said that he was not Chinese too....... so why learned Mandarin when he speaks English daily....?
So what did I do?
Well, before I share with you my experience, I want to state that those family who have chosen to emigrate or migrate, have their reasons and I am not saying that they are wrong.
Sometimes there is no perfect or right answer but it is a choice or decision that you choose.
As you know, I did my 'A' level and degree in Melbourne and I have a brother and a sister living there too. So it should not be too difficult for us to migrate there too.
But we feel that Singapore is a great place to have an education and a safe place too, It is tough, no doubt but my wife and I feel that it is better to try to overcome the problem instead of uprooting the family to another foreign place to start all over again.
Some of the things that we did to help Jason in his Mandarin were ....
- tuition, of course!
- we watch TV8 Chinese series
- we tried to converse in Mandarin as much as possible though not very successful at times
- etc....
It was a family effort and since my wife is bilingual, she also read with Jason in the evenings too.
You know, I actually improved my Mandarin too as I was a Malaysian so Mandarin was not compulsory and not my 2nd language.
Jason passed his Mandarin exam. for 'O' level in Jun 09 and we are so happy for him.
However, he still does not like learning the language and does not realise the importance of it, with China progressing and opening up these days.
Well, one step at a time......
Happy parenting......
David
Parents have also written to the Press and commended the new proposal + sharing their problems their kids were facing that led them to uproot their family to overseas so that the kids can avoid learning Mandarin.
Similarly, for having to take PSLE exams too.
Jason has 2 primary school classmates that have taken that move; one went to Perth and the other to Geelong in Australia. Both are doing well and really enjoying the education system there.
Jason was also having difficulty with his Mandarin and was not motivated to learn it. Initially, he even said that he was not Chinese too....... so why learned Mandarin when he speaks English daily....?
So what did I do?
Well, before I share with you my experience, I want to state that those family who have chosen to emigrate or migrate, have their reasons and I am not saying that they are wrong.
Sometimes there is no perfect or right answer but it is a choice or decision that you choose.
As you know, I did my 'A' level and degree in Melbourne and I have a brother and a sister living there too. So it should not be too difficult for us to migrate there too.
But we feel that Singapore is a great place to have an education and a safe place too, It is tough, no doubt but my wife and I feel that it is better to try to overcome the problem instead of uprooting the family to another foreign place to start all over again.
Some of the things that we did to help Jason in his Mandarin were ....
- tuition, of course!
- we watch TV8 Chinese series
- we tried to converse in Mandarin as much as possible though not very successful at times
- etc....
It was a family effort and since my wife is bilingual, she also read with Jason in the evenings too.
You know, I actually improved my Mandarin too as I was a Malaysian so Mandarin was not compulsory and not my 2nd language.
Jason passed his Mandarin exam. for 'O' level in Jun 09 and we are so happy for him.
However, he still does not like learning the language and does not realise the importance of it, with China progressing and opening up these days.
Well, one step at a time......
Happy parenting......
David
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Fathers Action Network (FAN)
This Fathers Action Network (FAN), a newly formed network is funded by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS).
FAN is to drive the "Dads for Life Movement" that aims to get fathers more involved with their children.
Mr Richard Seow, the chairman of FAN, says that FAN want to make people aware issues of fatherhood, and to get them to make a commitment to spend time with their family and kids.
Mr Seow further said that " Whether it's values, work ethic or sex education, you can't expect schools to take over. Don't outsource the fathering, don't let Game Boy or the Xbox take away the time the father should be spending with the child".
I totally agree with the statement above.
During our younger days, our fathers are busy working and our mothers are solely responsible for our upbringing but there are also fathers who still managed to spend sufficient time with their children.
Unfortunately, I was brought up by mainly by grandma and aunties in Penang as my parents lived all over Malaysia due to his job postings. As there were less external distractions and having a very strict grandma, my siblings and I turned out reasonably well.
But having said that, we do not have many memories of times we spent with our parents. Sad but this was due to the circumstances then.
Glad to say that my siblings & I are spending much more time with our own children.
However, it is still very true that the husband is seen as the one working his ass off to bring home the bacon.
And many fathers think that it is not their responsible to care for their children and it is mother's job.
Anyway, the world has changed and the children does need their fathers too.
Happy Parenting.....!
David
FAN is to drive the "Dads for Life Movement" that aims to get fathers more involved with their children.
Mr Richard Seow, the chairman of FAN, says that FAN want to make people aware issues of fatherhood, and to get them to make a commitment to spend time with their family and kids.
Mr Seow further said that " Whether it's values, work ethic or sex education, you can't expect schools to take over. Don't outsource the fathering, don't let Game Boy or the Xbox take away the time the father should be spending with the child".
I totally agree with the statement above.
During our younger days, our fathers are busy working and our mothers are solely responsible for our upbringing but there are also fathers who still managed to spend sufficient time with their children.
Unfortunately, I was brought up by mainly by grandma and aunties in Penang as my parents lived all over Malaysia due to his job postings. As there were less external distractions and having a very strict grandma, my siblings and I turned out reasonably well.
But having said that, we do not have many memories of times we spent with our parents. Sad but this was due to the circumstances then.
Glad to say that my siblings & I are spending much more time with our own children.
However, it is still very true that the husband is seen as the one working his ass off to bring home the bacon.
And many fathers think that it is not their responsible to care for their children and it is mother's job.
Anyway, the world has changed and the children does need their fathers too.
Happy Parenting.....!
David
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Born Innocent
Hi,
This was the main feature in this week, Mind Your Body; a supplement that comes with The Strait Times.
It mentioned that experiences, environment and society will shape a child's perception of what is right and wrong, according to a psychologist.
I totally agreed with the editor that we, parents, should be a busybody for our children's sake.
In case you missed it, here is a summary of some key messages....
Consistency is key to imparting values you want your child to have.
Here is a few pointers on how parents can influence their children's moral values:
- Show, do not just tell
Younger children understand the concepts of love and care best in the form of hugs, kisses and other forms of physical intimacy.
- Engage his empathy
We should use feeling laden statements to reinforce the child's ideas about what is right; eg. You were so kind when you shared your cookies with your classmates.
- Dig behind the bad behaviour
Children sometimes behave badly to test the limits, to express their anger or to seek attention.
- Do as I do, do as I say
Parents need to share their values with their children. How parents behave also modifies the child's perceptions of right and wrong.
- Teach accountability
Children should learn that their actions have consequences. Typical children will show remorse, feel guilt and learn from their mistakes.
I know most of us may feel that it is easy said than done but you must find the time and commitments to want to do it, in the first place.
Happy parenting........!
David
This was the main feature in this week, Mind Your Body; a supplement that comes with The Strait Times.
It mentioned that experiences, environment and society will shape a child's perception of what is right and wrong, according to a psychologist.
I totally agreed with the editor that we, parents, should be a busybody for our children's sake.
In case you missed it, here is a summary of some key messages....
Consistency is key to imparting values you want your child to have.
Here is a few pointers on how parents can influence their children's moral values:
- Show, do not just tell
Younger children understand the concepts of love and care best in the form of hugs, kisses and other forms of physical intimacy.
- Engage his empathy
We should use feeling laden statements to reinforce the child's ideas about what is right; eg. You were so kind when you shared your cookies with your classmates.
- Dig behind the bad behaviour
Children sometimes behave badly to test the limits, to express their anger or to seek attention.
- Do as I do, do as I say
Parents need to share their values with their children. How parents behave also modifies the child's perceptions of right and wrong.
- Teach accountability
Children should learn that their actions have consequences. Typical children will show remorse, feel guilt and learn from their mistakes.
I know most of us may feel that it is easy said than done but you must find the time and commitments to want to do it, in the first place.
Happy parenting........!
David
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