Teaching Kids To Follow The Rules

Hi,

I got this FREE report written by Ms Martha Stevens and it is about 15 pages of valuable info that talk about setting rules with your kids.

Yes, I still research and do some reading to search for truths or experiences of others so as to ascertain whether I have guided Jason accordingly or there are new approaches that I can adopt or try out.

You can go to right hand column and click on link The Greatest Parenting Secret in History Revealed by a Mother of Five! and registered for it.

Hope you will find it useful too, I did!

David

Cool Parenting Tips

Hi,

Please visit this website to subscribe to a FREE newsletter and other goodies like a download of a copy of "Help Your Child With Homework - For Asian Parents".

CoolParentingTips.com is Asia's Number 1 Parenting Newsletter dedicated to providing Caring Parents like you with articles and resources relating to Parenting for Early Childhood to Teenagers.

So I hope you will find this resource useful for your parenting career.

Have a nice day.....we, parents deserve it too.....ha....ha...

David

The Birds & The Bees

Hi,

So how many of you are comfortable to talk about the birds and the bees?

Or to be blunt, talk about SEX with your kids!

Because of the recent highlight on sexuality workshop being conducted in school and some parents were concerned about the mention of homosexuality or lesbian aspects of it even though this part was just a few minutes of the workshop.


I am referring to the Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) programme that have been conducted in some school upon request as this was developed by the AWARE and supported by MOE.

Since the coaches were specially chosen and trained and MOE has approved or endorsed it, I would think that it is safe to be conducted in the schools. As it is a very sensitive subject, it is impossible to please all the parents and satisfy their concerns.

I like to ask the parents this, do you think you have sufficient knowledge to do it yourself?

Or rather do you have the time and communicate well with your kids, in the first place?

If yes, then good for you and you should not then be worry as you have already cultivated your set of values and your kids should be able to then decide for themselves.

In today digital era, your kids can easily find what they want on sexuality on the Internet so do you want them to interpret themselves without proper guidance from you or the school or CSE?

In fact, they are most likely to discuss it among their friends.

So in short, both parents and school + CSE programmes are important to guide the kids.

In my days, my parents did not guide me and neither did my school so I have to learn the hard way and from my Biology lessons.

I understand that Jason was taught about sexuality in Primary 6 and Secondary 1 these days. I came across it and we talked about it a bit.

I am not sure if I have been open enough or cover sufficient details but I must also admit that it is not easy to talk about it though we are very open. So I hope my discussion + what the schools have covered on this topic is adequate and he would ask if he wants more details.

On one hand, some parents like to pass the buck to the school and teachers. But on the other hand, they may not be happy if they heard that topic like homosexuality was mentioned as they are against it.

I feel that at the end of the day, the parents are still responsible for their kids so this is one of our responsibilities too; to talk about sex with out kids.

Hopefully, we have instill sufficient values in them and they will know what to decide or do when confronted with difficult or uneasy situations.

Because of this recent issue reported in the press, I just made an appointment with my son to have another talk on sex after his mid-year exam.

So parents, do your job and not pass the buck......

David

Cats In The Cradle by Harry Chapin

My brother passed me this lyrics when we were both still studying overseas, in Melbourne, Australia.

I think we did not really see the significant of the song as much as today.

We like to call each other 'son' until today and even his son asked him why I call him 'son' as it was weird.

I really do not remember exactly the reason other than we were always trying to give advice to each other back then even though one is older than the other.

This song is so meaningful that I am going to list the lyrics below for you to read if you are not familiar with the song.


In short, it is a about a father so busy that he does not have time for his son. When he grew old and wanted to see his grown up son, his son also has no time for him. The song ended by saying that the boy has grown up just like me.... ( ie. the father got back a taste of his own medicine....).

I am glad to say that I am giving my only son lots of my time at the sacrifice of my own career etc.... While I would not fault my father for not giving me much of his time or even guidance when I was growing up then.... I suppose those days were different from today....?

But as parents, I like to caution you or tell you that you should not expect your kids to be grateful or appreciative of your sacrifices now as they will not understand what parents are doing until they themselves become parents one day. I told my wife that we are doing what we are doing as we are his parents and we should not see it as sacrifices but our duty to be there for him etc.....


So here is the lyrics ......

====================================

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

====================================

My father is the only son in the family of 6 children and he has to work to support all of them; even when they were married as their husbands were not earning much!

My siblings and I were brought up by my grandma and aunties as my mother would travel with my father in his work all over Malaysia. So my parents have never seen me run or play soccer for my school; for example. We would look for our own tuition teachers and also applied to study overseas on our own.

Today, time has changed and despite our busy work schedules, we would somehow find the time for our kids...... eg. I would stay up with Jason until he slept and then I would do my office work until 1am or so. Even then, I neglected him a bit on a few occassions.

I am sure we all have our own challenges in our home or work and some of us may not be able to spend as much time as we would like with our kids, right?

Well, let this song reminds you of what you may miss or regret when you are retired and old.

So , parents find or make time for your kids before it is too late and it has to start when they are babies ...... I believe the first ten years with them is so important as it will set up the appropriate foundation for an everlasting relationship.

Do not wait until they are in puberty or early teens to try to give them time as it is a bit too late as this is the time that they want to 'fly' and be independent or with their friends.

Think about it.....

Happy parenting....

David