My Memories Of Bringing Up My Only Child

Dengue Fever

2012-01-16T23:11:00.000+08:00

The new year started with Jason having quite a bad sore throat and he recovered from it after taking some antibiotics for 5 days.

After a few days, he came down with fever and it happened to be Friday the 13th morning ....a coincidence ?

He had a very high fever, hitting 39.2 C and hovering in the 38 C range. Even after sponging him with wet towels and asking him to take a shower, the fever refused to come down. So after dinner, we decided to return to the clinic but it was closed so we went to a 7x24 clinic instead. They could not find anything wrong and the medication given seems correct so we went home.

That night, his temperature continued to hover between 38 and 39 C and he shivered quite badly when I sponged him with a few wet towels, a few times. Eventually, I gave up as I was too tired from lack of sleep... around 4am.

On Sat morning, I called the clinic and after discussing with the GP his condition and also the fact that there was at least once case of dengue fever in our area, I took Jas to the hospital lab to test for dengue fever.

After 2 hours of waiting, the GP called me and that Jas indeed has dengue fever but his blood count was still within range but at the lower end, borderline... at 156!

The GP actually was quite sure that it is not dengue fever as typically, it does not come with a sore throat and cough but just high fever only.

But I was not comfortable with it and I know that Jas normally would have a day of fever only and not as high as 38C and above so I was more concerned than ever.

I am glad that the GP realised my anxiousness and offered me the option of doing 3 blood tests; one for dengue fever, another for the blood count and another to identify if the fever is caused by bacteria or virus ( antibiotics can treat bacteria fever but not a virus fever and you have to ride it out ).

Now, we know what we are dealing with and able to handle it better and not second guess on what could be happening.

My advice to you is that you must know your children well to be able to spot any unusual deviation and then pursue the matter accordingly.

After confirming my son's dengue fever, we shared the news with our neighbours so that they could take some precaution as it is so near to them ( eg spray Shelltox and put on mossie repellant ). One of them called me for more info as their son has been having a fever and other complications like mouth ulcers for almost 7 days but the Dr did not think it is dengue fever. I suggest that they take him for a blood test to either rule it out or confirm that it is indeed dengue fever. It was confirmed that the son had dengue fever after the blood test.

It was painful to see my son shivered when I sponged him but once we knew it was dengue fever, we were able to handle the situation better and not worry unnecessary.

BTW, one concern I had was whether he could have some form of brain damage for having such a high temperature of 39C and above. The Dr assured me that it is quite safe as he is much older unlike if he is a baby or much younger. So this info was a big relief to all of us and I can sleep in peace even when he was still running a fever.

Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year in 2012

2012-01-01T17:39:00.001+08:00

Our family photo taken with Jack, our beagle, too this year in front of our small xmas tree.

I wish that the new year will be a healthier and safer year for all of us.

Besides my parents and mum-in-law being sick during the 2nd half of 2011, Jason twisted his right knee and had to undergo a full ACL Reconstruction surgery and still having physiotherapy sessions now as part of his recovery.

You can read more about it at this blog as I wanted to share the experience that I went through. It was a bit difficult to find some information from local sources.

http://twistedkneetornacl.blogspot.com/

I have not been updating my blogs as often as I would like to as I was so busy caring for my aged parents and Jason's knee recovery too.

Anyway, I wish you good health and some wealth too in this new year.

My Teenager Son

2011-04-22T23:54:00.004+08:00

Hi,

Jason turned 18 recently and visited a Pub with his friends though he told me that he does not like to drink.

He also told me that some of his friends smoke and some of them drink too.

Initially, I was shocked but then I also realised that I also have friends that smoke or drink and some smoke and drink too so I suppose as long as he knows what he is doing with his friends and not get into trouble, so be it.

Lately, he has been going out a lot with his friends and also staying overnight at one of his friends home.

While he sort of asks me for permission... I find it difficult to say 'NO' but I am not happy with it though.

I suppose it is a phase where he spends more time with his friends and I miss him.....sigh

I told my wife that we will be seeing lesser and lesser of him though we say that weekends are for family time as he is having more activities or outings on Sat and we only have Sun to catch up with him.

But he sleeps in on Sun all the time so easily half a day gone and we only have dinner together.

I guess I have to get used to it.

I really miss the boy that used to let me hug and kiss him including holding his hand where we go out together.

David

Chinese New Year - Traditions

2011-02-04T22:57:00.005+08:00

We wish our Chinese friends a very Happy & Prosperous

Chinese New Year !

Traditions are important and we, as parents, should teach them to our kids though it is getting more challenging as even ourselves have lost some of the practices in this modern society.

I told Jason that reunion dinner or lunch and the visiting of the elders in the family on the 1st day of Chinese New Year are mandatory.

So he is told not to make any appointments with his friends on such occassions; eg he would typically has some school activities on Saturdays but we were having our reunion lunch a week earlier at my mum-in-law home, so I gave him ample notice to be present and it is not negotiable.

I am glad that he appreciates the tradition and even learned to greet his grandparents in Cantonese.

I was disappointed that one of his cousins did not attend the reunion lunch and I was given to understand that he went out with his friends instead.

Well, I do not blame the tennage boy but hold his parents responsible instead. It is sad indeed as the boys can to see each other like once a year only!

Similarly, I have make it a habit to take a family photo on the first day of Chinese New Year at home before we go visiting. After all, we are all dressed in new clothing and looking at our very best so it is a perfect occassion to ahve a family photo taken indeed.

Sad to say, many of my adult relatives are camera shy and do not want their photo taken during reunion dinner and when we meet on the 1st day of Chinese New Year.

What a pity!

If the adults do not co-operate how do we expect their children to do so.

Fortunately, Jason managed to catch up with 2 of his cousins and they consented to have a photo taken together, as shown below.

Merry Christmas 2010

2010-12-27T00:59:00.003+08:00

Hi,

We wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in 2011.

As our last maid is a Catholic, we were caught into celebrating Christmas more for her all these years. But since she has left us after serving us for 12 years, the celebration has toned down a bit.

But I am glad that we still find the time to put up a smaller trees and take this occasion to buy ourselves some presents too...ha...ha...

Irrespective of religion ( we are Buddhists ), this is a good time for the family to spend time together.

We also still continue to take a family photo with our presents in front of our Christmas tree.

So if you are not participating in this Christmas festivity, you should consider doing so next year and surprise your family members. Importantly, an excuse to spend time together over a meal and exchange of presents.

Merry Christmas..!

Memories of Jason as a Baby

2010-12-04T23:34:00.002+08:00

Hi,

I have been converting my old VHS tapes into digital format into my PC.

My wife and I really cherish those days when Jason was just a baby and still growing up.

Every day bring surprises and we always look forward to going home to see him.

We strongly advise you to video your growing children and take as many photos of them especially now that it is so much cheaper with digital cameras.

You can see a short video clip of Jason when he was just 1year+, playing in the living hall.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0eR_a50jdw

We also have a habit of taking family photos during our birthdays and Chinese New Year celebrations.

You can really see the changes in us from these yearly photos so do not be camera shy......

David

Proud of Jason

2010-10-27T16:57:00.002+08:00

Hi,

Early this year, when we visited our family dentist, the dentist asked me if the teenage boy that she just treated is my son. ( I normally go into the dentist treatment room with Jas but thought that he is old enough to be on his own since it was a simple cleaning job. )

I confirmed that I am his father and she told me that Jas is a very pleasant and polite teenager. She commented that it is difficult to find such well mannered teenagers these days.

I felt proud, of course, but then thought that the dentist was just being too polite.

Some time later, I met Jas's teacher-in-charge in the Parent-Teacher session in his Poly. Again, she started by saying that Jas is a very nice student and shows respect to the teachers. She is very happy with him.

Of course, I am very proud of him indeed.....2nd time round with such good feedback about him!

Later, when I sent him off on his Poly Study Trip to Vietnam at the Changi Airport, his subject Lecturer also commented that Jas is a very pleasant boy in her class.

Wow! 3 times that I received such favourable feedback on Jason.....really made me proud of him.

Do not get me wrong..... I am not claiming that my wife & I are the best parents...!

BUT we must have done something right and giving Jas the right guidance all these years.

Well, so far, he is getting along fine in Poly which has a very different system from secondary school or Junior College.

David

Jason Going To Polytechnic

2010-03-29T16:23:00.014+08:00

Hi,

Time flies ......

It was like yesterday that we were playing together in bed.....tumbling around....

Jason has enrolled into Singapore Polytechnic to do a Diploma in HRM with Psychology and will be starting school next month.

Not too long ago......

I was coaching him soccer in a nearby field.......

Jason in his Primary School uniform, going to school early in the morning.

Jason running and playing soccer for his secondary school, St. Patrick School.

Our typical teenage boy, spending most of his awake time in front of the PC and/or TV....

I miss the little boy that I could easily cuddle and kiss on the bed .....

BUT I am also proud of my teenage son today too......

Memories......sigh

David

Letting Go Of Jason

2010-01-01T23:08:00.002+08:00

Our maid of 12 years went home for good after Jason's 'O' level exam, recently.

We decided not to have a replacement and try to cope with the household chores on our own other than ordering 'tingkat' food on weekdays.

Jason has been cleaning the table after dinner and he has also asked us on how to do some simple cooking; eg cup noodles, scrambled eggs.

We also have to start giving him some independence or let him be on his own instead of mothering him.

What do I mean?

Here are some examples to illustrate on what we have done.

We left him on his own in the house ( no more maid, remember? ) and he has to make his own lunch as he slept in and missed his breakfast, since we have a lunch appointment one day.

He wanted to organise a BBQ to celebrate the New Year with his friends so we booked a chalet but left the organisation of the BBQ to him. Glad that he managed to rope in a few friends to buy the stuff and brought it to the chalet. I gave some advice to him but he managed to carry it out with his friends...... so I was quite impressed.

Early this year, his friend organised a BBQ in ECP but no one could start the fire...... a disaster indeed and they brought back all the stuff.... poor boys!

But this time, he told me he has 2 friends who are boy scouts in school so no problem.

He asked for our permission to go out with his friends more often as he wanted to enjoy their time together before they go separate ways...ie JC or Poly.....

We are okay with it as long as we are aware of his activities and who he is going out with.... base on trust and that we have lay down a good foundation and principles for him to follow...

Jas is 16+ and soon will be a NS man and then 21.......

Letting him go is painful but essential as this is part of the cycle....

We were a bit worry about this chalet cum BBQ outing but we know that we just have to let go and that he has been well groomed to make the right decisions on his own.

Happy New Year and may your parenting year in 2010 be better or less painful.......!

David

December School Holidays

2009-12-21T08:31:00.002+08:00

Yes, it is this time of the year where our children is having a big break from school....!

Since Jason just sat for his 'O' level exams., and he has studied so hard for it..... he wants to just relax and play.....

We talked about his working during the holidays but since he did not show that much interest, I decided not to push him into it.

So far, he has been on 3 short trips...
- Visited his grandparents in Penang, Malaysia
- Flew to Vietnam with his classmates, a reward that they won for being the Best Class for 2 consecutive years
- Took a coach to Ipoh, Malaysia to attend the last day dinner of a Leadership seminar through his school too

Other than that, he has been playing basketball, street soccer and watching movies with his friends....

He also continue doing some athletics training with his school and won the 4oom individual run yesterday at a friendly meet.

Well, I would say he is almost out every other day ...... so we are ok with it as long as he keeps us well informed of his activities and friends that he is hanging out with.

We have also booked a chalet and BBQ pit for him at Downtown East on the eve of New Year as he wanted to celebrate it with his friends...

We also bought him a Xbox 360 with 2 games, FIFA 10 and HALO 3, so that he can stay home more often and also invite a few friends over too. So this is his early Xmas present too!

Yes, no enrichment class, tuition, etc......... This is one holiday that he is as free as a bird...

He would have taken up drum lessons too but it only starts in Jan 2010.

Well, I think he deserves this break before he goes into JC or Poly depending on his results and his interest that he wants to pursue.

So parents, remember to take a break yourself too......

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year....

David

Mandarin & PSLE

2009-12-04T22:58:00.002+08:00

There is some debate on how Mandarin has been taught in primary schools and the proposed changes to be made, to keep up with today's needs.

Parents have also written to the Press and commended the new proposal + sharing their problems their kids were facing that led them to uproot their family to overseas so that the kids can avoid learning Mandarin.

Similarly, for having to take PSLE exams too.

Jason has 2 primary school classmates that have taken that move; one went to Perth and the other to Geelong in Australia. Both are doing well and really enjoying the education system there.

Jason was also having difficulty with his Mandarin and was not motivated to learn it. Initially, he even said that he was not Chinese too....... so why learned Mandarin when he speaks English daily....?

So what did I do?

Well, before I share with you my experience, I want to state that those family who have chosen to emigrate or migrate, have their reasons and I am not saying that they are wrong.

Sometimes there is no perfect or right answer but it is a choice or decision that you choose.

As you know, I did my 'A' level and degree in Melbourne and I have a brother and a sister living there too. So it should not be too difficult for us to migrate there too.

But we feel that Singapore is a great place to have an education and a safe place too, It is tough, no doubt but my wife and I feel that it is better to try to overcome the problem instead of uprooting the family to another foreign place to start all over again.

Some of the things that we did to help Jason in his Mandarin were ....
- tuition, of course!
- we watch TV8 Chinese series
- we tried to converse in Mandarin as much as possible though not very successful at times
- etc....

It was a family effort and since my wife is bilingual, she also read with Jason in the evenings too.

You know, I actually improved my Mandarin too as I was a Malaysian so Mandarin was not compulsory and not my 2nd language.

Jason passed his Mandarin exam. for 'O' level in Jun 09 and we are so happy for him.

However, he still does not like learning the language and does not realise the importance of it, with China progressing and opening up these days.

Well, one step at a time......

Happy parenting......

David

Fathers Action Network (FAN)

2009-11-22T19:17:00.003+08:00

This Fathers Action Network (FAN), a newly formed network is funded by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS).

FAN is to drive the "Dads for Life Movement" that aims to get fathers more involved with their children.

Mr Richard Seow, the chairman of FAN, says that FAN want to make people aware issues of fatherhood, and to get them to make a commitment to spend time with their family and kids.

Mr Seow further said that " Whether it's values, work ethic or sex education, you can't expect schools to take over. Don't outsource the fathering, don't let Game Boy or the Xbox take away the time the father should be spending with the child".

I totally agree with the statement above.

During our younger days, our fathers are busy working and our mothers are solely responsible for our upbringing but there are also fathers who still managed to spend sufficient time with their children.

Unfortunately, I was brought up by mainly by grandma and aunties in Penang as my parents lived all over Malaysia due to his job postings. As there were less external distractions and having a very strict grandma, my siblings and I turned out reasonably well.

But having said that, we do not have many memories of times we spent with our parents. Sad but this was due to the circumstances then.

Glad to say that my siblings & I are spending much more time with our own children.

However, it is still very true that the husband is seen as the one working his ass off to bring home the bacon.

And many fathers think that it is not their responsible to care for their children and it is mother's job.

Anyway, the world has changed and the children does need their fathers too.

Happy Parenting.....!

David

Born Innocent

2009-11-01T07:22:00.001+08:00

Hi,

This was the main feature in this week, Mind Your Body; a supplement that comes with The Strait Times.

It mentioned that experiences, environment and society will shape a child's perception of what is right and wrong, according to a psychologist.

I totally agreed with the editor that we, parents, should be a busybody for our children's sake.

In case you missed it, here is a summary of some key messages....

Consistency is key to imparting values you want your child to have.

Here is a few pointers on how parents can influence their children's moral values:

- Show, do not just tell
Younger children understand the concepts of love and care best in the form of hugs, kisses and other forms of physical intimacy.

- Engage his empathy
We should use feeling laden statements to reinforce the child's ideas about what is right; eg. You were so kind when you shared your cookies with your classmates.

- Dig behind the bad behaviour
Children sometimes behave badly to test the limits, to express their anger or to seek attention.

- Do as I do, do as I say
Parents need to share their values with their children. How parents behave also modifies the child's perceptions of right and wrong.

- Teach accountability
Children should learn that their actions have consequences. Typical children will show remorse, feel guilt and learn from their mistakes.

I know most of us may feel that it is easy said than done but you must find the time and commitments to want to do it, in the first place.

Happy parenting........!

David

'O' Level Examination 2009

2009-10-27T15:31:00.002+08:00

Hi,

Jas just started sitting for his 'O' level examination and it will only end on 13 Nov 09.

Based on some discussion with my friends, I was surprised to find that 'O' level exam. was considered the toughest of all exam; ie even 'A' level, Poly or University exam. are considered easier...!

Well, it does not really matters as I know that Jas was motivated and has put in considerably effort over the past few months.

Whatever the outcome, we will shop for the next level of education..... JC or Poly.

Importantly, he has put in his efforts and did not laze around or has bad attitude towards the preparation for his exam.

So we are proud of him and we believe his efforts will pay off in due time.

So parents out there, be supportive and not be so 'kiasu' about the whole episode of exam.

I was a bit annoyed when I read in the papers that the PSLE Maths paper was tough and some children + their parents were upset about it.

Come on, the children has to learn how to deal with such circumstances and move on to the next exam. paper.

Besides, if it is true, the authorities will moderate the results else there could be more than 50% failure rate....... and it would not be allowed.

Anyway, good luck to all the 'O' level students though it is more on your efforts than luck...!

David

Find Time For Your Kids

2009-10-05T10:24:00.004+08:00

Hi,

I was walking past our nearby park with my wife the other day and noticed my son playing street soccer by himself.

Immediately, I told my wife that I would like to have a game with him as I used to teach him soccer when he was 6 or 7 years old. Though it was against my doctor's advice on not to play impact sports due to my back left knee.

I just could not help it as it brought back memories of our time spent on the soccer field.

I was not properly attired for it but I told myself that I will take it lightly and just be the goalkeeper.

But.....

We ended up playing a simple one-on-one street soccer instead. I broke my old slippers and played bare footed...... also, could feel the pressure exerted on my left knee and I was not even wearing a knee guard to protect it.......

Suicidal ....?

Well, I enjoyed myself and have a good workout though I did not go all out at all .......

Importantly, Jason and I enjoyed ourselves and I have not lost touch of my soccer skills.....ha...ha....

Jason was also kind and did not rough me up .... and he always went to pick up the soccer ball when I kicked it out of court even though it was on my side of it.

In short, do find time to play with your kids ....... good for bonding and some physical exercise too!

Here is a photo of me and Jack taken inside the street soccer court wen we had a break. Jack was having his walk and we let him in for a short while but he was not interested to play with us.....ha.....ha....

I have a bit of soreness on my left knee and lower back but it was worth it........

David

Give Your Children Support In Their School Exams.

2009-09-28T16:48:00.004+08:00

Hi,

It is that time of the year again but Jason is sitting for his 'O' level exams. in about a month's time.

It is well known that when the children are having exams., the parents also get stressed or even more stressed than their own kids......ha.....ha......

Yes, I have been through it but we must learned to let go eventually and just be there to support them...... by encouraging them and ensuring that they have enough rest too....

What do I mean?

Guide them to adopt a systematic approach to studying for their exams and not a last minute rush. Teach and help them to come out with a schedule for revision and eventually they should be able to do it themselves.

Encourage them to study wisely but also let them have some free time to rest their brains.....eg they should still exercise or watch TV, etc.....

Jason sometimes asked me to wake him up after 30 minutes of power nap but then when he could not wake up, I just let him sleep on as it seems like he needed the rest badly. He has overslept for more than an hour a few times.

I told him that I rather he be healthy and well rested than struggled to study if his body and mind are not up to it.

I was more hands on and gave more guidance when Jason was in primary school but I gave him more independence when he started his secondary schooling.

I was pleased when he handed me a revision schedule last night and asked me to help put it into the PC and print it out for him. Well, my efforts in teaching him to do a revision schedule has paid off.

Many a times, I re-assure him that no matter what results he gets, as long as he tries his best and gives his best shot, we are happy and supportive of his actions. We will then move on and look at the options available for his next stage of education; eg JC or Polytechnic.

I know it is tough to let go at times and the tendency to nag at them when you see them not studying enough from your perspectives.

Lay the foundation well when they are young and they should be able to manage it on their own.

Happy Parenting.....

David

A Family Should Have 2 Children

2009-09-02T15:18:00.002+08:00

Hi,

In some countries, there are restrictions on the number of children that a family should have due to their own specific reasons.

Eg. China has such a policy due to their large population. Singapore used to discourage you from having more than 2 kids in the past.

Recently, I have been busy flying to and fro Penang to help care for my parents especially my mother who is recovering from her mild stroke.

My elder brother and younger sister, who are living in Australia, also flew back to take turns to care for them too.

During one of my trips back to Penang, my wife was explaining or updating my only son, 16 years old only, about our rotation duty or what I called as 'tour of duty'.

Surprisingly, Jason said that he is the only son in our family so how to rotate then.... if we need any care in our old age...?

This was discussed again when I was home over dinner and Jason finally said that hopefully, we will be living in the same country as him......!

Yes, it is indeed true that if you only have one child the responsibilities or burden will be very heavy on that one person.

In fact, a friend of mine even mentioned it to me when we decided to stop at one child.

Most of us always think that it is either too expensive to have another child or that it would not be fair to the second child as we are not already spending enough time with the 1st child so how to cope with another one....!

At least, this is typical of Singaporean lifestyle.........sigh

BUT, after my own experience of taking care of my parents, I think it is better to have at least 2 children so that the siblings can approach each other for help or discussion.

A spouse is never the same as your own sibling when it comes to your own family issues involving your parents.

Think about it....... seriously!

David

P.S. My elder brother is now in Pg for 3 weeks, followed by my younger sister for 1 month. My elder sister is retiring early so that she can go back to Pg to live with our parents from Nov 09 onwards. I have been flying back to Penang to monthly to take my parents for their doctors' appointment and also when needed.

Husbands Like To Be Respected & Wives Loved

2009-07-30T12:05:00.000+08:00

Hi,

I attended a church wedding and the pastor shared with us, based on his years of counselling, that Husbands like to be Respected and Wives like to be Loved.

If we can do it well, our marriage will definitely last long.

This is important and you may thinking that this has nothing to do with bringing up your children....?

If you think so, you are wrong!

Parents are the nucleus of the family and if the Husband & Wife do not get along or love each other then how can we be a good role model or even love our children well.

So think about it......

Have a good day too!

David

Parents Are Their Children Role Models

2009-07-27T11:53:00.004+08:00

Hi,

I just saw an advertisement showing that children is likely to smoke if their parents are smokers.

Why?

I suppose it goes with this saying, Monkey See Monkey Do.....?

How to tell your children that it is wrong to smoke when the parents are smoking right in front of them or when caught smoking behind their backs!

So Parents, please remember that we are all role models to our children.

I like to decide what I am wearing for work and hang my clothes out the night before. So that I do not have to stress my brain too much when I just woke up early in the morning...ha....ha....

I notice that Jason also hangs his school uniform out the evening before though in his case, it is always the same type of clothes for school. He also started to pack his gear required for his CCA too so as not to rush in the early morning and forgets an item.

I asked him why he does so and he replied with the same reason that I mentioned above; being organised.

I believe that I have influenced him by my actions or that he observed and unknowingly adopted my practice too.

So being role models, we must be on our best so that our children will pick up the good habits from us.

Happy parenting!

David

The Family CEO - Building a Happy and Successful Family

2009-07-12T21:35:00.006+08:00

Hi,

My wife and I attended a talk on retirement matters and we have this speaker talking about family issues.

He was Simon Sim and we enjoyed his talk tremendously.

I went to look for his book, The Family CEO - Building a Happy and Successful Family, and found it in our Bedok community library.

I found it very easy to read and it is also so localised that we, Singaporeans, should be able to associate with what he wrote.

There are a few salient points that I remembered from his talk and his book.

One of them was that my wife, or your spouse, is like a 'freehold property' as you will age and retire with her but your kids are 'leasehold property' as they will leave you after 18 or 21 years of age. So invest more time to build a lasting relationship with your spouse than your kids.

I think it is very true though parents tend to make a lot of sacrifices for their kids even if at the expense of their spouses.

Another point is that if we repeat what we say to our kids, they will consider it as nagging! Ha...ha....

And we worry so much about PSLE but we should be focusing on his PSLE which means Please Show Love and Encouragement to your kids instead.

The book is a good read and highly recommended but I cannot totally agree that I would or could follow his approach in bringing up his kids; eg his kids have to pay their own way to tertiary education by working part-time, etc.....

So check it out and happy reading.....

David

Internet - Use It Wisely With Supervision

2009-06-28T17:49:00.003+08:00

Hi,

Just like anything, it can be good or bad as it all depends on how one uses it.

So the same for the Internet.

I tried to introduce children games and lessons to Jason when he was young but I must admit that it was not as successful as I hope it to be.

We ended up with him playing games like Age of Empire ( a bit ahead of his time or age ) due to my influence or early expose to him of such games......

But importantly, surf the Net with your kids and teach them to search for things that are relevant to them. Set the guidelines and platform for them.

Eventually in school, as early as Primary classes, they will be encouraged to do research on the Internet for their projects.

Time has changed and they are the what we now can the Digital Natives or they are born and raise in the digital age.

I do not block any sites on all the PCs that Jason has access to as it will only make it more challenging to break through and satisfy his curious mind.

When Internet came into our lives, I myself also have to installed the dial-up modem and explore what it has to offer as I need it for my work, especially in the IT industry.

You cannot block all the sites that you think are not desirable or bad for your kids.
For example, I search for a famous model that came to my mind then and I saw topless photos of her as part of her portfolio so it has nothing to do with keywords like sex, pornography, etc....

So do not freak out if you happen to see such things on the screen but act cool and find out what your kid is up to......

Of course, if the child is addicted to searching for such sites or info then you need to pay more attention to it.

When I was a lecturer, I started to realise the potential of Internet as research can easily be done through the PC from anywhere but it is also a skill to dig for the right information from the right sites; eg Wikipedia is good for some background but may not be factual so you need more reliable sources.

Now, I can almost find anything from the Net to help me with my daily work and chores if necessary.

So you should guide your children to use the Internet wisely and then watch them from afar.

Happy parenting.....

David

Watching TV With Your Kids

2009-06-02T22:39:00.004+08:00

Hi,

June school holidays are here in Singapore.

Due to the swine flu, I am sure that we are unlikely to be travelling overseas and take unnecessary chances.

So how to spend your time?

Well, besides going out to shopping malls, zoo, bird park, etc.....I would strongly suggest watching a movie or two or even watching TV at the comfort of your home.

Yes, watching TV!

But you should be selectively in the type of shows that you are watching and also take the opportunities to instill some principles or values in them using the theme of the TV show.

But never use the TV to occupy them so that you can have your own time or do your chores. If you must then do not make it a habit.

To improve our Mandarin, we watch some of the Channel 8 serials and at times we even covered up the English subtitles.

Besides watching sports like EPL soccer which is a great bonding time between father and son, most likely. But my wife does join in too and we have fun cheering for our team... MU!

At one time, we also watch a lot of documentaries like National Geography and we enjoyed it tremendously.

However, you should avoid shows that are too scientific, scary or horror unless your kids is old enough to know what is real or fake. Even if you explain to them, they may be scare and will have an imprint in their mind and it may haunt them.

We used to enjoy watching X-Files together in bed but looking back, I think it was a bad idea. Though I do not notice any bad effect on Jason but I think he was a bit too young for it; below 8 years old.

We have some good moments though; like the movie, Titanic. Though he was only about 4+ then, we explained the story line to him. We love the song so much that we memorised the lyrics and sang it in bed almost every night. The main actor in the show was named Jack and when we got our puppy beagle.... guess what we named it?

Jack the puppy beagle, came into our life!

TV or movies can be a great teaching tool, but only if we use it wisely.

Happy Parenting....

David

Teaching Kids To Follow The Rules

2009-05-15T13:37:00.000+08:00

Hi,

I got this FREE report written by Ms Martha Stevens and it is about 15 pages of valuable info that talk about setting rules with your kids.

Yes, I still research and do some reading to search for truths or experiences of others so as to ascertain whether I have guided Jason accordingly or there are new approaches that I can adopt or try out.

You can go to right hand column and click on link The Greatest Parenting Secret in History Revealed by a Mother of Five! and registered for it.

Hope you will find it useful too, I did!

David

Cool Parenting Tips

2009-05-14T11:30:00.003+08:00

Hi,

Please visit this website to subscribe to a FREE newsletter and other goodies like a download of a copy of "Help Your Child With Homework - For Asian Parents".

CoolParentingTips.com is Asia's Number 1 Parenting Newsletter dedicated to providing Caring Parents like you with articles and resources relating to Parenting for Early Childhood to Teenagers.

So I hope you will find this resource useful for your parenting career.

Have a nice day.....we, parents deserve it too.....ha....ha...

David

The Birds & The Bees

2009-05-06T17:10:00.002+08:00

Hi,

So how many of you are comfortable to talk about the birds and the bees?

Or to be blunt, talk about SEX with your kids!

Because of the recent highlight on sexuality workshop being conducted in school and some parents were concerned about the mention of homosexuality or lesbian aspects of it even though this part was just a few minutes of the workshop.

I am referring to the Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) programme that have been conducted in some school upon request as this was developed by the AWARE and supported by MOE.

Since the coaches were specially chosen and trained and MOE has approved or endorsed it, I would think that it is safe to be conducted in the schools. As it is a very sensitive subject, it is impossible to please all the parents and satisfy their concerns.

I like to ask the parents this, do you think you have sufficient knowledge to do it yourself?

Or rather do you have the time and communicate well with your kids, in the first place?

If yes, then good for you and you should not then be worry as you have already cultivated your set of values and your kids should be able to then decide for themselves.

In today digital era, your kids can easily find what they want on sexuality on the Internet so do you want them to interpret themselves without proper guidance from you or the school or CSE?

In fact, they are most likely to discuss it among their friends.

So in short, both parents and school + CSE programmes are important to guide the kids.

In my days, my parents did not guide me and neither did my school so I have to learn the hard way and from my Biology lessons.

I understand that Jason was taught about sexuality in Primary 6 and Secondary 1 these days. I came across it and we talked about it a bit.

I am not sure if I have been open enough or cover sufficient details but I must also admit that it is not easy to talk about it though we are very open. So I hope my discussion + what the schools have covered on this topic is adequate and he would ask if he wants more details.

On one hand, some parents like to pass the buck to the school and teachers. But on the other hand, they may not be happy if they heard that topic like homosexuality was mentioned as they are against it.

I feel that at the end of the day, the parents are still responsible for their kids so this is one of our responsibilities too; to talk about sex with out kids.

Hopefully, we have instill sufficient values in them and they will know what to decide or do when confronted with difficult or uneasy situations.

Because of this recent issue reported in the press, I just made an appointment with my son to have another talk on sex after his mid-year exam.

So parents, do your job and not pass the buck......

David

Cats In The Cradle by Harry Chapin

2009-05-01T22:25:00.004+08:00

My brother passed me this lyrics when we were both still studying overseas, in Melbourne, Australia.

I think we did not really see the significant of the song as much as today.

We like to call each other 'son' until today and even his son asked him why I call him 'son' as it was weird.

I really do not remember exactly the reason other than we were always trying to give advice to each other back then even though one is older than the other.

This song is so meaningful that I am going to list the lyrics below for you to read if you are not familiar with the song.

In short, it is a about a father so busy that he does not have time for his son. When he grew old and wanted to see his grown up son, his son also has no time for him. The song ended by saying that the boy has grown up just like me.... ( ie. the father got back a taste of his own medicine....).

I am glad to say that I am giving my only son lots of my time at the sacrifice of my own career etc.... While I would not fault my father for not giving me much of his time or even guidance when I was growing up then.... I suppose those days were different from today....?

But as parents, I like to caution you or tell you that you should not expect your kids to be grateful or appreciative of your sacrifices now as they will not understand what parents are doing until they themselves become parents one day. I told my wife that we are doing what we are doing as we are his parents and we should not see it as sacrifices but our duty to be there for him etc.....

So here is the lyrics ......

====================================

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

====================================

My father is the only son in the family of 6 children and he has to work to support all of them; even when they were married as their husbands were not earning much!

My siblings and I were brought up by my grandma and aunties as my mother would travel with my father in his work all over Malaysia. So my parents have never seen me run or play soccer for my school; for example. We would look for our own tuition teachers and also applied to study overseas on our own.

Today, time has changed and despite our busy work schedules, we would somehow find the time for our kids...... eg. I would stay up with Jason until he slept and then I would do my office work until 1am or so. Even then, I neglected him a bit on a few occassions.

I am sure we all have our own challenges in our home or work and some of us may not be able to spend as much time as we would like with our kids, right?

Well, let this song reminds you of what you may miss or regret when you are retired and old.

So , parents find or make time for your kids before it is too late and it has to start when they are babies ...... I believe the first ten years with them is so important as it will set up the appropriate foundation for an everlasting relationship.

Do not wait until they are in puberty or early teens to try to give them time as it is a bit too late as this is the time that they want to 'fly' and be independent or with their friends.

Think about it.....

Happy parenting....

David

Be Involved In Your Kids Activities

2009-04-25T23:54:00.013+08:00

Hi,

We just spent the past 2 weeks supporting Jason in his runs in the school national athletic meet and school sports day.

In the first place, Jason invited us to see him run else no matter how much we want to be present, we would not intrude into his space or privacy.

Also, it helped that we managed to have some time on hand and we are into sports so we were very enthusiastic in supporting him and his school.

The national meet started on Mon 13 Apr and ended on Thu 23 Apr. Jason has to miss school lessons for a few days as he has to be at the stadium a few hours early before his run to get ready and warm up accordingly. Besides, Chao Chu Kang stadium is about 1.5 hours away from home by MRT and bus!

He has to carbo-load and I massaged his legs daily to help him recover and prepare for the next run. When he has his run in the afternoon, we have to time his lunch at least 2 hours before the run. We ate at Pizza Hut to carbo-load him.

My wife was the No. 1 supporter, in the sense that she was also presence in all his runs and was cheering him and his team-mates during the run. We were the only parents present until the final day, we saw a few more parents supporting their kids.

We enjoyed being part of the whole event and being there for Jason. In fact, I thanked him for inviting us and letting us be part of the whole experience. It also reminded me of my school days when I ran for my school too.

Here are a few photos taken during this national meet

Mum on the extreme right and the 2 teachers in-charge of the team. Jason in the background with 2 of his mates.

The 4x400m team with the Coach.

Jason was also in the 4x100m relay team that got into the final too but again, missed out on winning a medal. The team performed better than expected too.

Then Jason's school sports day was held immediately after the national meet, held on Fri 24 Apr.

Jason won a medal for all the 5 events he ran; 2 Golds, 2 Silvers and 1 Bronze.

800m & 4x400m - GOLD

200m & 4x100m - SILVER

400m - Bronze

Again, Mum was the No. 1 supporter and cheering for all the runners we knew from the national meet; shouting their names in front of their parents who were also present. We might have shocked them a bit....ha....ha......

By now, Jason's mates are used to seeing us supporting them.

I took photos and video of all their runs as requested by Jason. His friends would ask him or even me to view their runs.

The 4x400m relay team that won the Gold and broke the school record too!

Through this, we have also met Jason's mates and got to know his circle of friends and a few of their parents, not forgetting the coaches too.

So I hope you can find the time to get involved in your kids activities and take the opportunity to bond with them and also get to know their friends too, and their teachers etc....

David

Letting Go Of Your kids

2009-04-19T18:41:00.009+08:00

I just have lunch with a friend who is actively involved with counselling work.

We were talking about teenagers and the problems faced by them and parents.

He made a comment and that was to let them go and do their own thing with minimum supervision.

These teenagers would not appreciate what their parents are trying to advise or guide them, most of the time.

So it is very tough for parents to not try to guide and advise them but at the same time, we do not want to 'nag' them and drive them away from us.

It is tough to be 'perfect' or 'balanced' in letting them go......... sigh

I suppose we, parents, just have to make sure that we are not at the extremes; ie totally neglect our kids or nag them excessively.

I must admit that I too sometimes may have over done it a bit and 'nag' my son thinking that I am sharing with him some of my life experiences.

Importantly, we just have to decide on the maturity of our kids and decide when and what is appropriate to let them do on their own.

Happy parenting........

David

Our Dream And Our Kids Dreams

2009-04-11T09:23:00.000+08:00

Hi,

I refer to the following article that appeared int Today papers on Wed 8 April 2009.

In short, what we want our kids to be may not be what they want to be...!

When Jason was young, he wanted to be a WWF wrestler, then EPL soccer player....

He even asked me the possibility of going to UK to pursue his soccer career....!

Lately, he wants to be a Teacher but in Mathematics and not in sports....surprisingly!

I am in the IT profession but I have never tried to get him interested in it and I am not disappointed at all too.

BTW, by sheer coincidence, I played soccer for my secondary school and my father also played soccer at club level. So we have 3 generations involved in soccer.

I also ran 400m and 4x400m relay for my secondary school and Jason happens to be doing the same now...! In fact, he was talent spotted when he came in first during last year cross-country race at Bedok reservoir as his school CCA is soccer.

When I was a Parent Volunteer at his Temasek Primary School and subsequently, a Lecturer in Temasek Polytechnic, Jason was very supportive and proud of what I am doing.

But I have never encouraged him to teach so it must be the respect and influence that he saw in his teachers.....?

So you can see that his ambition was greatly influenced by his environment and parents must also play a part to provide some guidance and help our kids to achieve his dream or ambition if it is a decent and achievable one.

Fortunately, my parents have never forced me to be someone that I would not want to be. Like them, I just want Jason to have a reasonable job that he likes and earn sufficient to support himself and his family.

I still remember a staff of mine telling me that she hates swimming as her parents forced her to train to be a champion swimmer at a very young age.

You could have also read of people handing over the degree certificate to their parents, upon graduation, and then went off to pursue their own ambition or dream job.

I hope you do not want to be that type of parent and make your kids resent you for the rest of their life.

Let your kids pursue their dreams as long as it is a decent one and it provide them 3 meals a day......

Happy Parenting....!

David

SPS Soccer Team - 2nd Place Win

2009-04-09T17:07:00.011+08:00

Hi,

We are proud that St.Patrick Secondary 'B' Boys soccer team won the 2nd placing yesterday as I am told that SPS has not done that well in recent years.

We were invited by Jason to watch him play yesterday afternoon at Temasek Polytechnic stadium.

A reserved goalkeeper and utility player too, up field.

A good volley indeed...!

SPS 'B' Boys Soccer Team

David

Celebrate Your Children's Triumphs

2009-04-08T15:10:00.010+08:00

Hi,

Came across this interesting article in The New Paper on 5 Apr 2009.

In short, we should celebrate your children's achievements as long as they have given their best.

1st place or a Gold medal is always ideal, but 2nd or 3rd or even completing the race itself is an achievement too for participating in the competition.

Similarly, I may push my son to study for his exam. but on that day itself, I always tell him that he has prepared himself well and so whatever the outcome, we will still love him as he has done his best. We always wanted him to be assured and calm before he sits for his exam.

Though there is a tendency to ask our children how the exam went when they come home, we now just focus on the next paper as it is over so no point to cry over it.

If he has not done well, it would upset him and he may not focus for the next paper. If he claims that he has done well, he may be over confident for the next paper. So the best approach is to move on and tackle the next paper.

2 weekends ago, Jason ran in the 4x100m relay and the team came in first in their heats but missed the final by 0.2 seconds overall. I told him that it was a good run by the team but it was most unfortunate and just focus on the next run ahead. Luckily, he took it quite well.

Later today, I will be supporting his school soccer team in the final match. Win or lose, a medal is assured. I wished him luck this morning and told him that we are proud of his achievements. We wanted to have dinner with him but he asked to celebrate it with his team-mates instead and we agreed to it.

The school has awarded him a certificate of achievement and a medal too for hiscoming in 7th placing in the Nationals 4x400m relay last year. A very good and encouraging gesture indeed!

So remember to be supportive and celebrate all your children's victories, big or small, or even just the mere participation for exposure to the competition.

Happy Parenting.......!

David

PC Game Counter-Strike Sharpens Vision

2009-03-31T06:38:00.008+08:00

Hi,

TODAY 30 March 2009 reported that a study showed that the fast paced PC game, Counter-Strike, improves vision.

Far from being harmful to eyesight, action games like Counter-Strike provide excellent training for what eye doctors call contrast sensitivity.

Contrast sensitivity is the ability to notice tiny changes in shades of grey against a uiform background, and is critical to everyday activities such as night driving and reading.

It often degrades with age.

Of course, excessive gaming or addiciton is bad!

BTW, it was also reported last year that surgeons trained or enhanced their pinhole surgery abilities by playing PS2 consoles.

As mentioned in my earlier posting on gaming, the whole family including my maid is now playing Bejeweled Twist and it provided some bonding amongst us. We also notice that Jason picked up the game very fast and his eye can see the pattern so much faster than us. After teaching us his strategies, all of us started to have very high scores now.

So do not condemn gaming totally as it is more of managing it well within the family even though it can be additive at times but with family support, it can be more of an entertainment and family bonding too.

Happy Gaming!

David

P.S. BTW, the community is supporting gaming as I just came across a gaming competition amongst schools at Funan IT Mall during the recent one week school holiday. One of the popular games now is World Tour Guitar Hero and it was the main feature of the tournament too.

Gaming - Parents Be Aware

2009-03-26T07:27:00.010+08:00

Hi,

I have written about gaming earlier but am compelled to say a few more words about it since there was this article published recently.

We cannot run away from gaming or deprieve our kids from it as they are born into this digital age.

Importantly, I must stress that parents must be aware of the gaming that they are involved and manage it well.

Do not fall into the trap whereby you used gaming to keep them occupied and give you some free time or time to do your chores.

If you get involved and manage it well early, I do not see any problem with gaming.

If you only notice the addiction or so-called violence in your kids when they are in their early teens or puberty, it will be very tough indeed to correct them.

Jason was exposed to PC gaming at the early age of 4 but I was there to guide him and even played with him.

At one stage, we have PS2 and Xbox consoles in addition to PC. If managed well, all these can be home entertainment and help in family bonding.

The latest craze is the Wii and it has been reported that family members got together to play games like tennis and golf.

Jason wanted one but I refused his request as he wanted to play this game, Guitar Hero.

He has 3 real or proper guitars so why has a game to press buttons on a toy guitar, I asked him! He told me it is the challenge to play the game.

Anyway, I managed to convince him that it is a bit too expensive as a set will cost about S$500 and his guitar is about SS$300. I rather upgrade his guitar instead than a toy guitar, make sense isn't it?

You may also want to read my earlier posts at

http://parentingmemoriesofmychild.blogspot.com/2008/12/gaming-consoles-like-ps2-xbox-psp.html

http://parentingmemoriesofmychild.blogspot.com/2008/12/early-exposure-to-pc-gaming.html

http://parentingmemoriesofmychild.blogspot.com/2009/02/beware-computer-obsessed-kids.html

Our children are known as Digital Natives and we the Digital Immigrants....!

Happy Parenting.....

David

P.S. BTW, the whole family ,including our maid, is now playing this PC game called Bejeweled Twist. We are competing yet sharing strategies on how to get the highest score. So if we manage it well, this can also bond us in addition to being a source of family entertainment.

Spending Time With Your Kids

2009-03-21T16:18:00.006+08:00

Hi,

Typically, mothers are the ones that spent the most time with their kids unless both parents are working.

Eventually, the children reach puberty and they will like to be on their own and have friends to hang around. Not so cool to be seen with the parents.....

In no time, your children will be working and the parents are retired and start to miss the children!

It is true so think about it and start spending more time with your children especially during the period when they are below 10 years old.

This article sums up well what I am trying to say above.

I tried to make weekend family time but with the many CCAs spilling into the weekends, we are losing our family time lately.

But we really make an effort to have dinner together or just watching a movie, TV or just hanging around in our study room.

Play your role as their parents now and not when you are retired and lonely at home but they have already started their own career and family too.

It is all about time management and making an effort to make it happen.

Many things can wait for us but not your growing children who really needs you more than you know.

So start today if you feel that you have not been making time for your kids!

David

Jason's 16th Birthday

2009-03-17T11:14:00.007+08:00

Hi,

17 March 2009 is Jason's 16th birthday......!

We have dinner last Saturday at Swenson restaurant and then his birthday cake at home.

Time flies and Jason is 16 today.... he will be going out with some friends this evening to celebrate his birthday.

He indicated what he would like to have for his present and he wanted a surprise when I tried to discuss with him on what we should get for him.

So we bought him a MP3 with a large 2.5 " screen and it can play video too. He loves it!

We bought a Happy Birthday banner for him too to make it special this year.

Happy Sweet 16th Birthday, Jason!

Loves,

Mum & Daddy Poh

Garage Sale

2009-03-12T10:33:00.004+08:00

Hi,

We bought so many toys for Jason when he was young and some were gifts from friends too.

One day, we talked about it and I suggested having a garage sale so that we can use the money to buy new toys and also recover some storage space too.

We went through the toys and selected what we wanted to sell and I put stick-it notes with prices on them.

We also make up a garage sale notice and photocopy 100 copies to advertise our sale.

One evening we walked around the neighbouring streets to put the notices into our neighbours mailing boxes. Mid-way, Jason complained that he was tired but I forced him to complete the job.

So on the garage sale day, a Sunday, we displayed those toys at our car porch and waited for our customers.

Honestly, we did not expected to have such a poor response. We only got 2 families dropping by and made 2 sales only.

By 4pm, Jason wanted to close shop but I told him that the notice said we closed at 5pm so we have to honour it.

It was indeed an interesting experience for us and I hope Jason learned something from it too.

He looked like one of those workers in the hawker centres with a pouch around his waist.....isn't he cute...!

You sould try something like this with your kids too and good luck too!

David

Some Old Photos Of Jason

2009-03-06T21:55:00.007+08:00

Hi,

I found a few of these old photos of Jason that brought back memories of his growing up.

Thinking back, I missed those days and I even remember that telling him that I hope time could stood still.

Jason was so cute as a young kid then and I enjoyed playing with him so much; eg soccer, wrestling on the bed,....

Jason playing PS2 with his best friend, Ryan Tay.

Ryan & his family has gone to live in Geelong, Australia now.

Jason and Ryan posing as .....PowerRangers..?

Notice that both of them are wearing England soccer jersey too!

Jason in his Spiderman costume.

Jason posing as The ROCK.....look at his left eyebrow......!

Well, some of you must be objecting to your kids being exposed to such a 'violent' sport but all I can say is that parents must be involved in your kids interests and manage them well.

Jason has lost interest in wrestling and move on to other teenager interests now.

But what a cute photo...!

BTW, I am donating the 2 wrestling belts to Red Cross soon....they are not cheap either so hopefully, some parents should find them a good bargain for their kids.

David

Time with Grandparents

2009-02-28T19:43:00.009+08:00

Hi,

My parents are living in Penang, Malaysia and we make an effort to visit them at least once a year or they would visit us in Singapore too.

My mum-in-law lives in Toa Payoh and we used to drop by for dinner at least twice a week after work and school. It used to be a meeting place too for Jason to catch up with his cousins. Since my mum-in-law has stopped cooking for us, we only catch up during the weekends at her place on a fortnightly basis.

I am keen that Jason have sufficient contact time with his grandparents as that what they look forward to; ie seeing their grandchildren. Also, by showing how we care for our parents, I hope he will learn our family values and will care for us too when we are at that age.

Children learn by example, seriously. So it is important that we cultivate such family values into them.

Honestly, as Jason grew older into his teens and sometimes the timings to meet his cousins at my mum-in-law's place may not be feasible. He would feel bored and rather be at home; eg playing his PC games etc....

However, I explained to him that the grandparents look forward to seeing him and they might leave us anytime so we should make an effort to spend time with them; even if it is just an hour only.

Today, he is receptive to the fortnightly visit to see his grandmother even if his cousins could not turn up.

Similarly, last year when I have to go back often to Penang to take my father to the hospital for his follow-up on his colon cancer recovery, it could be quite boring to be taking short holidays to the same place, Penang!

But I am glad that my family went back with me most of the time unless there was a conflict with work or school schedule. I also tried to make it more interesting by staying at the Penang beach resort for a night or two.

Here are a few photos of Jason with his grandparents :

We took my father to China as it was his wish to visit China at least once before it is too late.

We visited Penang and my father took us to a seafood restaurant by a river in the mainland.

My wife and Jason with his grandmother at her 80th birthday.

So please find the time to connect with your children with their grandparents. This is also family bonding time too.

Happy Parenting....

David

Outdoor Activities - Soccer, Swimming, Cycling

2009-02-20T23:13:00.011+08:00

Hi,

You should get your children to do some outdoor sports or games like soccer, cycling, jogging, basketball, swimming, etc...

I believe that all children should learn to swim and cycle as these are basic skills that they will use one day.

At one time, there were quite a handful of kids drowning in private pools in condominiums while visiting their friends, etc...

Besides, Singapore is an island so we should be able to swim as a basic surviving skill.

Why cycle? It is easier to learn when they are young. Also, if they go to the park or camps, they can rent bicycles and cycle together. Also, if they ever go overseas to study and work, cycling is a common means of transport in places like Holland, US, China, ......

I used to cycle to school during my secondary school days in Malaysia.

Jason was keen on soccer and I trained him the basic skills in an open field near our home. It was tough on my two knees but it was fun and we also have a great time bonding together.

Jason eventually played soccer for his Temasek Primary School and continue to do so for his St. Patrick's Secondary School now. We are proud of his achievements in soccer including street soccer too.

BTW, I also played soccer for my secondary school and so did my father who played at club level in Penang.

Jas posing in our garden; one of my favourite photos of him!

Warming up; our house is just near this field which has been turned into a street soccer court and called Aida Park now.

Jason running with the soccer ball; nice shot!

Father and son.....!

So, find some time to do outdoor activities with your children ...... great bonding.... and also they will be learning some lifetime skills too.....

Happy Parenting.....

David

Beware Computer Obsessed Kids

2009-02-13T08:25:00.001+08:00

Hi,

I extracted this from TODAY Mon February 9, 2009 .

Importantly, be involved with your kids when introducing them to PC, gaming console like Xbox, PS2, PSP, Wii, etc......

Know what they are playing and how often and how long too....

Also, get them involved with outdoor activities like swimming, cycling, going to the communitiy libraries to read or borrow books, etc...

If you do not get involved early and then you realised that it is time for their PSLE, 'O' level exams,....... or worst still, they are in puberty....., it will be very tough on you to change them at this crucial stages in their lives.

So start early and and not used these facilities like PC and video gaming to keep your kids occupied so that you can get on with your own committments.

I know of friends with kids who play their PC games until late at night and their lifestyle is quite a mess.... leading to family quarrels, etc....

One kid got beaten up the following day in school by his friend over some mis-understanding as they were playing in a network game the previous night.

One kid could not stop as he was playing until certain high level and then managed to sell his character or weapon (?) for $50. He thought it was good money but can you make a career out of it long term?

I have no objections to gaming but parents should be involved and be observant that their kids do not become addicted to it.

Please read my earlier postings on gaming if you have missed them at

http://parentingmemoriesofmychild.blogspot.com/2008/12/early-exposure-to-pc-gaming.html

http://parentingmemoriesofmychild.blogspot.com/2008/12/gaming-consoles-like-ps2-xbox-psp.html

I think this could be a serious problem today but parents can manage it if they are aware of the consequences of lack of control or involvement in their kids gaming activities.

David

We Cannot Have Own Children Custom Made

2009-02-10T07:31:00.000+08:00

Hi,

I was having a conversation with my brother and he said that we cannot choose our relatives but we can choose our friends...!

So it got me thinking about it.........

Well, we are born into a family but we meet strangers and make friends with those we can get along well.

Today, we can try to influence the sex of our baby being conceived, based on what I have read but I will not go into details on it.

But we cannot have our child custom made like buying a Cabbage Doll; eg a baby that will grow up to 6 ft all, weigh 70 kg, good in sports like football, and straight As student, etc.....

Neither can the baby choose his or her parents....!

Since we choose to be parents, we have to be responsible for the children we brought into this world and not rely on the teachers or school or our live-in maids.

I may sound harsh but if the children fail in their lives, I think the parents have to take responsibility for the upbringing that could have caused such failures especially if they were not given sufficient love and guidance.

The main point I am driving at is that it is very much up to the parents to guide and groom the baby to what we want him to be; ie teaching him the proper family and social values and eventually, as he grows older, he is able to make good judgements and improve or enhance all these values as he sees fit.

The child will eventually be a parent himself and the whole cycle will be repeated.

With the proper guidance on social values, he will also choose his friends wisely and create long lasting friendships in the various stages of his life.

But he cannot choose who are his parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, cousins, and members in the family tree.

Yes, it is so true that we cannot choose our relatives but we can choose our friends!

David

School Concerts

2009-02-07T18:45:00.008+08:00

Hi,

If your children is performing in any of their school concerts, please make an effort to attend them even if they are playing a small role.

They will be excited and proud to see you there and I am sure the reverse is true too.

Jason was active in drama during his Primary school days and we were always there to support him.

Many parents would be present and busy taking photos or video of their kids too.

Here are a few photos taken of Jason :

Kinderland concert in 1995.

Temasek Primary school concerts....

Jason acting as a Pirate...!

Jason was in the Speech and Drama Club so he acted every year except in Primary 6 when we cut down many of his activities, in preparation for his PSLE exam.

He also auditioned and was invited by one of the drama recording companies contracted by MediaCorp, to act in one of those Kids Central drama. It was a small part but took the whole day and was paid a very small sum only. Good experience but we felt that it was not worth it.

I strongly advise you to find the time to catch some of your children concerts, if not all, as these will be sweet memories that will last forever and you would be glad that you were there.

Happy Parenting......!

David

Sending Your Kid To School

2009-01-31T19:10:00.008+08:00

Hi,

When Jason started his Primary school nearby, my Filipino housekeeper accompanied Jason to & fro school as it was just a 10 minutes walking distance from home.

However, my wife and I tried our best to knock off from our office on time to reach his school to collect him home, at least once a week.

Thinking back, I can still feel the excitement of rushing to his school to surprise him, I can still remember how happy he was to see us and walk out to us.

These are moments that we, as parents, will always remember but do not blame your kid if he does not remember it as he could be too young but this sort of bonding will eventually pay or show positive impact on the child's development; eg. he knows he is being loved and care for.

I made an effort to wake up early to see Jason to the door though the Filipino housekeeper walked him to the school every morninig.

Here we have Jas back from school and playing with his 2 dogs; Jack & John.

We taught him to take the feeder bus when he was at Primary 4, after noticing that his classmates were able to travel on their own. His school has also shifted to its new premise but still reasonably nearby ( ie still walkable but maybe 20-30 minutes away ).

So find that time to send your child to school and/or collect your child from school even if it is once in a while.

Happy Parenting...... !

David Poh

Traditions Bond The Family

2009-01-25T23:35:00.008+08:00

Hi,

Today is the eve of the Lunar New Year.

We instilled some traditions to Jason and I believe it helps to bond the family as some of these activities involved all the members of the family.

Needless to say, the most important one for this occasion is our Reunion Dinner.

We have our Reunion Dinner a week ago at my mum-in-law home to suit everyone working schedule and have our own family reunion dinner this evening, steamboat dinner.

Jason is now helping Mummy to wrap the 'ang pow' or red packets and he has been doing so for the past years as I am writing this blog.

We also went to Chinatown to soak in the festivities and to do some last minute shopping.

Mummy choosing some of the candies from Japan while Jason was amazed by the variety and colourful packing.

We are also staying up till past mid-night on the eve to ensure long life for our respective parents......

I hope Jason will continue some of these traditions with his own family as I believe it helps in bonding us together.

So wishing you a Healthy and Prosperous Lunar New Year in 2009....!

David

P.S. Latest update : I also take the opportunity to have a family photo taken during this occassion. Initially, the family did not co-operate very well but it has now been taken as my own tradition to do it...ha..ha... and everyone is ready for that family photo these days.

I even frame it for display in the house. You can see Jason slowly growing up as the years go by. So you should consider doing it before you lost all those years of memories.

This photo was taken yesterday, 1st day of Lunar New Year, at the garden below my Mum-in-law apartment. Outdoor shots are much better than using a flash indoor.

David - Tue 27Jan 2009

When Was The Last Time You Hug Your Kids ?

2009-01-22T22:48:00.004+08:00

Hi,

When Jason was 10 years old and below, we hugged each other a lot and even kissed each other on the lips.

I hugged him when I put him to bed.

I hugged him when I left for work.

I hugged him when I returned from work.

I hugged him as and when we feel like it; as a means of showing affection and we did it often.

Now that he is a teenager, we do not hug so often as it is not so 'cool'......

But I do ask for a hug from him sometimes and I also ask him for permission to hug him but this is done at home , of course.

Recently, my dear wife told me that he asked her to hug him to sleep when she went into his room.

A few weekend ago, we invited him to sleep with us..... we can have a mattress in our room for him. He accepted the invitation and somehow in the middle of the night, he was up on our queen size bed too. He took turns hugging my wife and I during his sleep.

If you have not have such an experience before, I tell you it is priceless and a wonderful feeling to have his arms and legs over us. Especially, at his teenage days now!

So parents, do not be inhibited by your show of affection.

Hug and kiss your kids a lot when they are young and they will learn to love and express their love too, in return.

Happy Parenting...!

David

P.S. Wishing you a Healthy and Prosperous Lunar New Year too!

Registration For Your Child Primary School

2009-01-16T18:49:00.003+08:00

Hi,

Here in Singapore, parents are paranoid when it comes to registering their child for his primary school.

What do I mean?

I am referring to those of us that do not have an affiliation to any school and have to go for ballotting for the limited remaining places for P1.

I will not go into the specifics of this whole registration process but we have to ballot for a place in Temasek Primary School eventhough we are within the 1km distance from the school.

So both my wife & I too leave and went to the school for that 'BIG' day.....!

Jason's was the first name called out and we were so happy that we felt like we have struck 1st prize in the lottery..!

This was very stressful indeed.

I really feel very sorry for those parents whose child did not make it and have to seek alternate school.

Especially for those parents who volunteered their time and yet did not manage to get any priority for their child.

BTW, after feeling much pressure from our concerned friends, we actually made an appointment to see the principal a few months earlier. The objective was to find out how we can get Jason into the school one way or another; eg by volunteering our time though it was a bit too late or whatever options available.

Unfortunately, we just could not bring ourselves to ask the principal or 'beg' for Jason's admission into his school. We have our own work ethics or professionalism and we just could not do it.....!

A few weeks later, I heard from a friend that his friend also met the same principal and was successful in 'begging' or negotiating for his child admission but I did not ask for the details.

Anway, we are glad that we were successful in the balloting exercise eventually.......

So parents, I wish you lots of luck and do what is best or required for your child if you are in the same or similar position.

David

No Perfect Parents Or Perfect Kids !

2009-01-08T11:11:00.006+08:00

Hi,

I always read the column, Focus On The Family by Dr James Dobson, in the TODAY papers which is delivered to my home daily, FOC.

I like to share this article with all of you.

Here is an extract of the concluding paragraph:

"Remember, there's no such thing as a perfect parent or perfect kids. But your love, care and committment will make you the best parent your children will ever have."

I also remember a GP's advice to my son when we saw him for some illness when Jason was young. He advised Jason to listen to his parents as parents always love their children very much and will only want good things to happen for their kids.

How true..!

So wishing you a Healthy and Properous New Year in 2009 and hang in there, PARENTS!

David

How Do You Spend Your Time With Your Kids ?

2009-01-02T18:44:00.002+08:00

Hi,

I was reflecting on the past year 2008 but also went beyond that when I found some old photos of Jason taken when he was less than 6 years old.

I remember that we were visitng the Singapore Zoo about 4 times a year as this was an ideal place to spend the day with Jason. Different types of animals to see and the zoo was user frinedly, and they have a children playground too, though it was a bit far from home. We were members of the Friends of the Zoo; concession on entrance fees, newsletter, etc....

Here, we have Jason sitting on a miniature horse at the zoo.

Gosh,,, Jason was so small and the Mummy & Daddy so young too.....ha..ha.....

We always have to think of where to take Jason during the weekends to let him explore or expose to the outside world, and have fun with us.

Family at Jurong Bird Park, wearing similar design T-shirts too....

Honestly, eventually, we ran out of such interesting place to go and each trip is not cheap either; eg. taxi fare, food, entrance fees, etc.....

This photo was taken at the Underwater World in Sentosa Island.

It was fun and costly. I hope you remember to take lots of photos though.....!

Why?

Because your kid is too young to remember all these trips so the photos would serve as good memories when they are older.

Therefore, thinking back, I think we could have just focus on the Zoo as this is the most enlightening and educational place to visit for young kids.

I also realise that spending time with your kids does not necessary means taking them to such places or even travelling with them overseas as they are just too young to appreciate or enjoy it. It can even be most stressful on the parents especially if you are travelling to foreign countries; eg changes in weather and food.

I remember taking Jason to Gold Coast twice on the way to visit my siblings and his cousins living in Melbourne, Australia. There were a few moments that he enjoyed like visiting Batman manor otherwise he could not remember a thing and I have to carried him when he slept every afternoon. He vomitted everytime we landed at Brisbane airport, not sure why!

Also, I think the young kids would just be happy to stay at home and we play with them the whole day, as oppose to dragging them to shopping malls to window shop.

Even today, Jason would ask us when we are going home when we are window shopping after a family meal outside. He says he is bored! So unless you are buying something for him....ha..ha..... but after buying his items, he would still ask can we go home soon.....!

I suppose there is nothing wrong with it. For example, would you not be bored if your spouse is shopping for her stuff that have no relevance to you?

So my point is to think about how you would want to spend time together and it is not necessary having to go out in order to enjoy each other company.

We have a rule. Weekend is family time so Jason is not allow to go out with his friends except for special occassions like birthday gathering, attending school activities, etc.... We typically have either breakfast or dinner outside, for example.

We could even be watching DVD movies the whole afternoon together. Many a times, we could be in the study room and each of us is doing his or her own thing but we are all physically together and feel each other presence. I find this a great way for bonding and since we have been doing this for a long time, Jason does not feel that he has no privacy.

Jason can still go to his own room to take a call. We are open and we do not spy on what he does on his PC. In fact, we share a lot while in this study room; eg discussing some issues on TV or newspaper or watching TV like Channel 8 9pm series - Little Nyonya.

So think about it, the next time you want to drag your kids to the shopping mall if your intention is to shop for yoursleves or just window shopping.

It is important to establish a family room or den where everyone can spend their time together doing their own thing and enjoying each other presence.

BTW, it is not wise to have a PC and TV in each of your child room.

So have a fantastic New Year in 2009 and happy parenting ......

David

Some Baby Photos of Jason

2008-12-28T18:09:00.004+08:00

Hi,

I found these photos when clearing my drawer and found them in my old filofax, which has been replaced by gadgets like PDA and calendering in mobile phones or MS-Outlook.

And this is a photo of Jason playing in my brother's home in Melbourne, Australia.

BTW, I bought myself a scanner to convert my film images into digital images but have yet to use it. I used to take one whole roll of 36 exposures of Jason over a weekend....! Rather than scanned the printed photos, I want to scan the original film negatives instead.

Merry Christmas again!

David

Christmas - Best Time of The Year

2008-12-24T15:08:00.006+08:00

Hi,

Why it is the best time of the year?

Jason will be asking for his presents, of course.

Or rather, he will be asking for things that he wants throughout the year and we will buy them as Birthday or Christmas presents in advance! But then of course, we will still buy him a surprise present for the actual day itself too!

If I follow this rule strictly, I think we have bought him presents for many years in advance already! Ha..ha....

Now as parents, it is difficult to say 'No' at times especially if you can well afford it.

Even if parents cannot afford it, I think we are likely to save on our expenses and save enough to get them what they want, most of the time.

I would say that we spoilt Jason more when he was much younger, say 10 years old and below, compare to his teenage days. I suppose the reason being that we can reason with him and get him to make decisions or choices even if we can afford all the items he wants.

As I mentioned in my earlier posting, I told him that he can have either the ME-20 for his electric guitar or the Wii Console for this Christmas. He decided on the ME-20 and we bought it in November so that he can enjoy it during the school holidays and wrapped up the box and it is placed under the Xmas tree now.

(BTW, the Wii consle is more expensive but I think he will benefit more from the ME-20. So he made a wise decision, with a bit of influence from me...?)

To be fair to Jason, he started to buy us something though he may not very well know what we want and he also has a very tight budget ( his only savings are from his Chinese New Year red packets ) as I just give him enough pocket money for his daily use.

This year, he bought me a musical CD and a hair pin for his Mum. He actually asked us for a list of 5 items that we would like to have. Mum said that she wants nothing so I bought the present on behalf of Jason instead when Mum & I were shopping in KL recently.

At the end of the day, it is his thoughts that count. We normally tell him that we wants hugs and kisses for our presents.... this worked well when he was below 10 years old and he gave it freely , of course!

2 years ago, he bought me a pair of sandal costing $70.....! It was for my birthday and he decided on the spot and paid me when we reached home. So I proud of him.....!

Well, we will not help him next year and see what he will come up with.....?

We will open our presents this Christmas Eve evening and there will be a few surprises for him.

As parents, we are happy to see them surprised and happy with what they got.

So let me take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in 2009.......!

David

Gaming Consoles like PS2, Xbox, PSP

2008-12-20T22:13:00.008+08:00

Hi,

I wanted to buy Jason a PS2 as it seems like the standard gaming console that most kids have then and I was also curious about this gadget too, being an IT man and also started gaming on the PC.....!

But Mum would not have any of it for fear that it may get out of hand for Jason. We have heard of parents having to lock up the console and only let their children play on weekends only. So when the weekend comes, the children refuse to go out with the parents as it is playtime with the gaming console...ha..ha..ha...!

But one day we met my wife's uncle who just returned from his posting to Hong Kong and China, and he told us that he has been playing such gaming console as it was family entertainment and it was the thing that kept him sane after work in a foreign land...... He was a bachelor then though but he still play them with his children now.

After some convincing and influence from this uncle, we bought Jason a PS2 console but we told him that we do not want to have to lock it up but regulate the playing time instead.

( In fact, we bought it one year later as we decided to donate the money to a girl who was dying from her illness and she wanted to buy a notebook or PC to use before her days were up. Her case was reported in the papers and we were proud that Jason was agreeable to it. I think Jason was only 5 or 6 years old then. )

Initially, my wife insisted that he completed his homework before playing it but it caused more problems as Jason could not focus on his work and thinking of the PS2. I decided to switch strategy and let him play 1 hour first and then start his homework.

We never have serious problem managing him playing on the PS2. He grew out of it eventually. We also got him an Xbox one Christmas but it was my idea though. Both these consoles have been sold to our Philipino housekeeper now and kept.

Jason has moved on to PSP and I was the one who suggested to have one! Now, his Mum is also playing a game most evening.

I was curious about PSP as I read about adults and celebrities having one. I was looking for an external storage for my digital photos when we travelled. It did not meet my expectations so I never used it until yesterday when I decided to watch a movie that he asked me to convert for him for his recent trip to Ipoh. I was watching it on the MRT and I found that the quality was good and it helped to 'kill' time.

>PSP is a fantastic gadget...!

This Christmas, Jason wanted a Wii console to play 'Guitar Hero' and I also thought it was a good idea as the family can play tennis, golf and Wii Fitness together at home. But when I worked out the cost of it and then he also wanted a ME-20 for his electric guitar, he has to choose either one and not both as they are really expensive. Well, he chose the ME-20 and I also think it is a better choice too as he should benefit more from it than Wii console.

So at the end of the day, I think we cannot avoid these gaming consoles but must learn how to manage it and use it for the family entertainment purposes rather than let your children yearn for it and lost control over it.

I have attended a Parenting Talk and I was shocked that there are parents who banned their children from watching TV and no PC and gaming in total. They shared that when the children went to school and got exposed to other kids, her children were amazed or thrilled to learn of Power Rangers, PS2, etc and started to yearn for them since they are not available at home. Their children also seems 'strange' to their classmates.

Now do not get me wrong as I think parents have to decide what is best for their family and I do not blame them for their actions. A family counsellor was also in support of such actions and that to keep the children away from such undesired elements as long as possible. And they based it on studies done in US.

In my opinion, I think we need to move on with the changes in the world and we, as parents, should exposed such changes to our children and guide them in today's world and not run away from them. We cannot hide them from the world outside there but to help prepare them for the challenges ahead of them.

Just my opinion only.

Happy parenting..... and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in 2009

David

Early Exposure To PC Gaming

2008-12-10T12:08:00.000+08:00

Hi,

There was some news on gaming addiction in the papers so here is my experiences with Jason.

Be prepared to be shocked....!

As I am in the IT profession, I have a PC at home for work.

I was keen to introduce Jason to educational software and I bought a few especially those on learning Mandarin.

During one visit to Challenger at Funan IT Mall, Jason was watching some kids playing the game, The Age of Empire. He was interested and got me keen on it too. BTW, I was not into any gaming at all then.

So I bought it and then we tried to play it. I was no good at it and Jason was still not schooling yet so he cannot read the instructions on the screen. Jason cried when our soldiers got killed! I was up to my wits as it was my first time on gaming. I actually went to the Internet to buy an instruction manual to learn how to play, for USD5 I think. Downloaded it and read it in one go but it did not help much other than giving me the bakground to the game but did not teach me how to fight and not die!

Somehow, we managed to overome the problem and it motivated him to learn to read English else cannot follow the instructions on the screen,

Importantly, I made him rest after every hour and since he did not know how to switch on the PC then, we only played in the evening.

He never really spent much time on all the educational software so I gave up on it and father and son got into playing more games. Mum also got into a few of his games and played with him, one of them is Road Runner I think. It is a game where you are riding on a motorbike and using weapons to beat your opponents who are along on their bikes too....! Ha...ha..... Shocked?

I would have to played with him and showed him how to go about it as he was only 4 years old then! I know many of you may not approve of it ...!

I think the important thing is to be involved and educate your kid what is good and bad or what is real and entertainment only, as you cannot escape all these things in our daily life. You cannot paint an unreal world where there is no such thing as violence or bad guys or things out there but you create awareness and teach the kids how to deal with it.

Anyway, Jason got me sucked into gaming and sometimes he would have gone to bed by mid-night but I would continue playing till 1am to move up to the levels. It also became a distraction from my work stress. It may looked like I was addicted to it for a short period but importantly, I was able to walk away from it anytime and not ignore my family or work.

One observation though. As Jason was exposed to PC gaming early under our guidance, he was able not to be addicted to it and took it as another learning experience or phase in his growing years. His cousins or friends who were only exposed to it or learned about it when they started Primary school, became so intrigued by it that they neglected their school work. Whereas it was like no big deal for him as he has been playing PC games years ago.

I think early controlled exposure is good provided the parents are involved and give adequate guidance. But you have to decide on it based on your own principle and background or beliefs, what is good for your kids.

Similarly, for watching TV and other console gaming like PSP, Ninendo....

Jason's Baby Photo - Playing On Bed

2008-12-07T11:54:00.005+08:00

Hi,

This is one of our favourite photos of Jason when he was a baby.

As mentioned in my early posting, we always played with him on the bed before we slept.

Night was and still is the best time of the day as the family gets together in the master bedroom for some playing when he was young and sleeping with us, or having a chat now before we sleep.

Jason may grab a mattress to sleep with us sometimes too, these days, and we could be either watching EPL soccer or a late night movie to sleep, or somtimes talk a bit with the lights off.

Here is another photo of him playing on the beach along East Coast Park. He was scared of the sea water and the small wave so we just let him playing with the sand. He was a few years older in this photo.

My wife and I have to think of places to take him outdoors during the weekends and to expose him to the outside world too. More of this later....

David

Watching Your Baby Sleep

2008-12-02T18:37:00.002+08:00

Hi,

I used to carry Jason a lot to put him to sleep especially when he was a baby less than 2 years old.

There were many occassions that after I have put him to bed, I would look at him in his sleep.

He, and I believe all babies that age, would look so cute and peaceful.

I would look at his facial features ( from eyebrow, eyelashes, tiny nose and mouth, ears too,.... ) and then touch his tiny hands and fingers, and his feet and toes.

So do take some time and appreciate how lovely your baby can be.

I still remember that there was one occassion where we were lying in bed but I have his head on my left shoulder and my left arm cradling him. Jas was sleeping so peacefully and I dared not move, for fear of waking him up. We kept our position for at least an hour before my wife came in and saw us in such a loving position. All that while , I was watching over my tiny fragile baby in my arms.

Even today, I would crawl into bed with Jas when I am trying to wake him up and hold him for a while. Also, took a few minutes watching him and see how much he has grown since then.

So parents, no matter how tired you are or many tasks at hand, find the time to watch your baby sleep.

It is very refreshing and comforting indeed......

Happy parenting..!

David

How Well Do You Know Your Children?

2008-11-25T07:33:00.000+08:00

Hi,

This is not a trick question but how well do you know your children?

Again, it all boils down to the amount of time you spend with them and how you observe their behaviour or character.

Let me share with you my own experiences to illustrate what I am trying to say with you.

When Jason was young, he got sick quite often and I think it was normal as he was growing up and being attacked by all the bacteria or virus. This is typical of any child in their growing years; running nose etc.....

So after visiting the doctors and always getting the same medication, we started to stock up the remaining bottle of medicine in the fridge after consulting the doctor.

1st incident :

One evening, the maid made some bird nest soup for us and we decided to give some to Jason. after all, this is expensive stuff and can only do good and not harm him thoguh he was maybe 3 or 4 years old then.

After taking some bird nest, Jason started to develop a running nose and watery eyes ( much later, we learned that this is a typical symptom of allergy for all of us ). I gave him some of the medicine that we had kept in the fridge but he started to breathe heavily and experienced some difficulty. ( BTW, the doctor told me that I did the right thing by giving him that medicine otherwise the situation could have been worse! )

We immediately took him to a 24 hours clinic. I was carrying him and could feel his heavy breathing though he was almost 'knocked out' or sleepy. When we finally saw the doctor, he told us that he is allegic to bird nest and it is very common among children. That was news to me!

There was an option of medicine ( recovery would be slow ) or an injection ( immediate recovery ) and Jason decided on the injection. It was only then I realised that he must have felt very uncomfortable. Apparently, the allergy has caused his throat or upper windpipe to swell and close the passage for breathing. On hindsight, I should have taken him to A&E instead as we waited for about 1/2 hour before we saw the doctor!

So what I am saying here is that if I have not be observant about Jason's condition and just let him go to bed for the night, I cannot imagine what could have been the outcome. He could have been choked and never wake up again..!

Remember your child may be too young to tell you what he feels and he may just go to sleep ...!

2nd incident :

After dinner, my maid gave Jason his usual dosage of multi-vitamins.

I received a call from the maid saying that Jason was complaining of being a bit choked and has something in his throat but he could still breath. He was a bit older then and could tell us his discomfort.

I rushed home from office and decided that Jason being a very tough boy that I know, he would not complain over something that was not bothering him. Thankfully, he could breath easily.

I took him to our family doctor and he could not find anything visible that could have caused any discomfort that Jason mentioned. But I insisted that there must be something otherwise Jason would not be telling us about it as I know he is a tough boy and can handle much pain or discomfort.

So the doctor tried to make him vomit or cough out whatever could be in his throat. Initially, nothing happened and just when we were to give up, Jason coughed out his vitamin tablet!

Apparently, Jason was suppose to have chewed the vitamin tablet which was a star shape but he somehow swallowed it instead.

In this case, knowing that Jason is a very tough boy and would not lie to us, I supported his complaint that he has something in his throat. Luckily, it was a vitamin tablet and I suppose it could have dissolved very slowly eventually but what if it was something else...?

So you must know your child well and not take their feedback or complaints lightly, especially when they are young.

Quality Time With Your Children

2008-11-23T07:58:00.001+08:00

Hi,

Both my wife and I were near the peak of our career when Jason came into our life.

As in case of most young couple in Singapore without parents living with them, we have to employ a maid to look after Jason while we were at work during the day.

In our case, my parents from Penang came down to stay for 2-3 months to train our maid. We also decided to send Jason to Kinderland childcare school so that he could socialise with other children of his age instead of spending so much time with our maid.

We fear that he would get too close to our maid and learn to speak Philipino English; after hearing such stories from friends.

Still, I would say it was a risk that we took to leave the kid and the whole house to our maid. But that was typical of young working couple and even it is happening today, I believe!

So we claimed that we spent Quality Time with our son......!

Honestly, sometimes I think it is just an excuse or a term that we used to justify the situation that we have to face.

Why do I say it as such?

Jason also woke up early and he saw us off to work. Most of the time, he cried at the door when we left for work. We left with a heavy heart to work...sigh.... I can still remember that pitiful look of his at the door.

We would try to rush home but hardly on the dot, due to the nature of our work as executives or managers. So we were left with only a few hours with him before we call it a night.

I must say that my wife was able to give more of her time to Jason during the first 10 years before I was able to spend more time with him. Luckily, our career allowed at least one of us to be there for him; eg . My wife attended all his kinderarten concerts while I missed a few of them and in Primary 1 and 2, too.

So what is quality time?

I think that you can only called it quality time provided you are able to give your 100% during that period with your child and not distracted by your work or other matters.

We realised that we were not giving Jason 100% of our time when he was in Primary 5 and 6 as we were so occupied with our office work. We started to do more work with the availability of notebooks and broadband at home to link up to the office mail system. Also, we were at the peak of our careers.

But after having said that, there were memorable quality time that I spent with Jason playing with him on bed ( eg. remember our wrestling in bed, in my earlier post ).

However, I still remember what I read in the New Straits Times on a high profile lady banker when she retired. She said that there is no such thing as spending quality time with her children as she always had her work at the back of her head, working at such a high position in the bank, and she regreted not being able to spend more time with her children and watched them grow up.

So my dear firends, it is still a challenge to find sufficient Quality Time for your children, I believe.

As one of my friends told me, parents will only have 10 years of your children life as they will want to be on their own when they reach puberty.

Very true, while Jason is still very close to us today and we still spend the weekend together as a family committment, he is now in his teens and he goes out with his classmates more and also wants his privacy. We can only hold his hands or hug him at home else we will embarass him.

So parents, make the best of the first 10 years with your children and lay a good foundation for the family, especially in terms of communication and family values.

Many parents did not make time for their kids when they are young but when they reached puberty, they begin to worry and try to be close or 'control' their movement. Too late...my friends!

Find that quality time NOW!

Happy parenting,

David

Cut On The Back Of The Head

2008-11-21T16:47:00.003+08:00

Hi,

During Jason's first year in kindergarten, he was pushed by another boy and fell, having a small cut at the back of his head.

My dear wife was called by the school and she took him to the doctor and subsequently to a nearby hospital for an x-ray on his head.

We were upset but happy that there was no serious injury shown by the x-ray other than a cut that was stitched up on the head.

While we did not make a big fuss over the accident though my wife was quite upset about how the teachers were looking after the children during playtime.

The parents of the boy who pushed Jason, bought him a toy and apologised through the school and subsequently withdrew the son from the school. We did not pursue the matter so I am not sure whether the parents felt guilty about the matter or the school has asked the boy to leave..?

Anyway, after a week or so, I took Jason back to the hospital to have the stitches removed.

Today, there is not hair growing there but there is a scar on the head. Luckily, it is not visible or easily noticed unless you search for it.

If you have read my earlier post, this is the 2nd major accident and he almost blinded himself in the 1st incident.

David

Give Your Kids Advance Notice

2008-11-17T17:07:00.000+08:00

Hi,

This is a very good parenting tip that my brother taught me, give some advance notice to your kids so as to better manage their expectations.

What do I mean by that?

This is best illustrated by a few examples.

When you take your kids to the playground and it is time to leave, tell your kids that they have another 10 minutes to play.

When your kids are playing at home and you want to take them out for a meal or some appointments like visiting relataives, shopping, etc..... tell them that we are leaving in 15 minutes time.

By doing so, we have founnd that the children are more prepared to stop what they are doing and follow us eventhough they may be reluctant to do so.

Though when they are young and may not even understand how long is 5 or 10 minutes, it seems to work for our kids. There was one or two occassion when I forgot to give ample notice; ie. I was rushing for time so I said that we have to leave in 10 minutes but I actually left after a few minutes instead. They would usually protest and said 'So fast already...?' or 'Can we have another 5 minutes?'.

I still give Jason advance notice today but of course, I cannot cheat him with the timing though...ha..ha... He may negotiate for more time though if he is playing some computer game and cannot complete it in good time.

So try it out on your kids.....give them some advance notice.

BTW, I think it works on adults as well too.

Happy parenting..!

David

Watch TV With Your Kid

2008-11-15T20:24:00.004+08:00

Hi,

Please find time to watch TV with your kid and be involved with what they are watching.

What do I mean by that?

Sitting next to your kid while he is watchng TV and you are doing something else is a NO..NO..!

To be involved means to watch it with him and be able to discuss about what both of you are watching.

Why?

Firstly, you may want to censor or control what he is watching. Eg. I would tell Jason that this is could be a scary movie and that it was not suitable for him though we did watched a few episodes of X-Files...!

Secondly, you would want to explain to him that some of the action that he is watching are not real but stunts. Eg. Superman flying in the sky or Spiderman jumping all over so that he would not try to imitate the acts.

Thirdly, you should also explain or discuss the lessons that could be learned from the shows. Eg. the sense of friendship or loyalty as shown on the TV.

So if you find the time and watch TV with your children, you can make it into a learning experience with them besides laying the foundation or principles that you want them to internalize.

Of course, do not 'kill' the thrill of sheer entertainment by always putting forth some values in life or making watching TV into a teaching affair as your kids would 'shoo' you off ...ha..ha...

I watched cartoons, children programmes ( no matter how silly it may seems to us, adults! ) and even programmes like WWE or World Wrestling Entertainment..!

For eg., while watching WWE with Jason, I told him that it is all fake because if I really punch a person like what he saw on TV, it is unlikely that the person could stand up that soon. It is all glamorous stuff on TV.

Luckily, we happened to see a documentary on how they recruited and trained wrestlers on TV and he was convinced by what I said. In fact, it was an eye-opener to both of us...to be honest! After that, we lost interest in watching WWE.

However, we would wrestle in bed almost every evening at one stage and we really have fun and bonding was definitely established. We did moves like those we saw on TV like The Rock...... BUT I told him this is all play and not to play like that with his friends. He was around 4 years old then..!

BTW, we saw the WWE in our Indoor Stadium when they were in town and it was a fantastic experience for both of us! He was a few years older by then, around 6 or 7 years old.

Today, we still watch TV together.....eg. we would watch Channel 8 9pm serial and discuss about the various roles in the show.... and partly, to improve our Mandarin too.

Ocassionally, we still go to the movies together if his friends have seen them without him for whatever reasons.

So my tip to parents is that you must be engaged with them when watching TV with your kids and take the opportunity to share your values with them or solicit their thoughts too.

BTW, Jason & I watch EPL soccer games during the weekends and we are Manchester United (MU) supporters...! Here we are in MU jerseys taken on his 14th birthday.

Happy parenting!

David

Do You Cane Or Spank Your Child?

2008-11-12T06:57:00.001+08:00

Hi,

This is quite a controversial issue and I think it also depends a lot on our family upbringing, culture and where you are living too.

Recently, there was quite a debate or news on this matter as a Father caned his son quite badly and was reported to the Police by the neighbour. The father has been sentenced to jail and also sent for counselling. Without going into details, I will leave this as it is.

It brought back memories of how I have disclipined Jason when he was young.

Somehow, I was the 'bad' cop and Mum was the 'good' cop..... you know this playacting that you see in the movies or TV shows....?

I must admit that I am a bit bad temper by nature but I have simmered down a lot as I aged and more at peace with myself ( maybe through recent meditation and revisitng my Buddha teachings, etc ..?). So we were always concerned that I might hit Jas too hard and hurt him.

I remember that I do not have a cane at home but in the midst of talking to my colleagues, one of them told me that she caned her daughter, her only child. After that, I thought about it and I bought a cane. Of course, my parents and wife were not too happy about it though I said that I would use it as a threat or cane him lightly.

You see, the rationale was that the kids are too young to understand what we are telling them so the most effective way is to inflict some pain so that they know that it hurts if you did something wrong. ( Many years later, when I was in Jas's Primary school, I was appalled that the teachers were shouting at the children to stop running etc... But when I joined the school as a Parent Volunteer, I understood that the children react fast when shouted at rather than pulled them aside and explain why they are wrong, etc.....).

Ok, I can guess some of you are not in agreement with me, and that's fine as I said this may have a lot to do with our culture, upbringing and where we lived ( ie the country ).

This is my personal experience so let's not get into a debate on who is right or wrong and what is correct or not.

So you must be curious what happened after I bought the cane?

Well, there are no cane marks on Jason...!

True enough, I used it to threathen him and I also used it to let go my anger by hitting the cane against furniture like the wooden door or stairs ( you can still see the cane marks there, today ). Of course, everyone almost freak out in case I really use it on him then.

Was it effective?

I think so..... as I really think that he is too young to understand why he should not be doing things that we did not approve.

Importantly, I always told my wife to explain to him why he was 'caned' and then made him apologise to me. The same if Jas upsetted my wife. We would hug each other and that was the end of the episode.

When we visited my brother in Melbourne, Australia, he reminded me that caning was not accepted there and I may be accused of child abuse, etc.... So no beating or spanking of Jas in public if he was naughty! Well, in all our visits there, Jason was well behaved so no problem.

Honestly, I do feel hurt myself when I lost my temper and shout at him etc...... but I tried not to hit him even with my bare hands as the force would have been too great for the little fellow.

I stopped using the cane when he started Primary School as he was old enough to understand why we felt that he was naughty and deserved punishment like no TV etc....

I really do not have any memories of spanking him so badly when he was a baby or pre-school days. Though I remember my wife and I would be quarelling a bit when I lost my temper, for fear that I might hit Jason too hard I suppose.

Please do not get me wrong that I totally support caning! But if I could find a more effective way to get the same results, I would use the alternate way.

You have to choose the best way to discipline your kids and it is very likely that you could be influenced by your cultural and upbringing, not forgetting to mention which country you are living in too.

So happy parenting as it can be fun!

David

Jason Bungee Jumped in New Zealand

2008-11-10T11:16:00.001+08:00

Hi,

Jas is back from his school trip in NZ and he told us that he did a Bungee Jump during the trip.

This was not part of the itinenary but there was an opportunity and he took it with 3 of his mates.

He did mentioned to us before he left that he would like to try it but we were naturally a bit concerned and advised him to think through it properly. If he really wanted to do it, then so be it!

Well, he did the Bungee Jump and here is his certificate. I like the part that says he is of sound mind and body......ha..ha.... to jump off from a height of 43metres or 142 feet tower..!

Well, it is difficult to left go and let him made some of his decisions. But it is better to have discussed it than he did it behind our back and we are not any wiser about it.

Anyway, Mum & Dad are proud of you but please do not take unnecessary risk in future.

Loves, Jas!

Jason's First Step Forward

2008-11-09T16:10:00.001+08:00

Hi,

I was working when Jason took his first step forawrd on his own....!!!

But my parents and my maid saw it instead.

The excitement of Jason being able to walk on his own was great and I can still remember him smiling in triumph when we urged him to walk.

That weekend, I went to buy a video camera to film almost every movements of his.

Do you know that I could easily take 1 whole roll of film of Jason over a weekend?

No digital camera then so it was quite inconvenient as you have to develop the film and then see all the no-good photos. Besides, you also have to wait for 1/2 to one day to see all the photos.

Anyway, please do take as many digital images and you can make them into a slideshow for viewing on PC or TV easily these days.

I am now thinking of buying a film scanner to convert all those photos taken prior to the digital age and then slowly make a slideshow or digital album for Jason.

An entry level digital camera is good enough and the prices have dropped tremendously. They even now have video capability and with media like SD cards, you can also easily upload the photos into you PC and then make slideshow, digital album, post them on to the Interent to share them with relatives ...etc.....

Have fun.... I do and enjoy it temendously and you need not be an IT geek to do it too...!

Here is a sample of a slideshow :

You can register and use this tool for FREE so check it out at http://www.slide.com/

Enjoy...

David

Vomitting on the Bed

2008-11-06T18:08:00.003+08:00

Hi,

I remember Jason has a tendency of vomitting on our bed when we scolded him just before bedtime, and he would cry until he vomitted on the bed.

Sigh.... those few times were tough indeed as you have to clean up and replaced them with new ones.

Fortunately, we have a maid so it was more tolerable.

The babies seem to love to do it as a few of my friends also have the same experiences.

Mostly likely, they just have their dinner and not fully digested yet as I do not remember him vomitting like that during the day...?

Yes.....but we do miss him as a cutie baby to play with in bed..... lying on top of my tummy ( not that it is huge..., of course! ) .....

And now in his teens, you are not allowed to hold or hug him without permission...!

So while you may wish that your baby quickly grow up and be a lesser burden to you, I would also strongly advise you to spend more time and enjoy their company while you can.

David

Parenting Guidebooks or Manuals

2008-11-05T06:57:00.001+08:00

Hi,

I am sorry to tell you that there are no complete Parenting Manuals or Guidebooks..!

Having said that, I am not saying that you should throw away all those books you could have bought to-date.

Importantly, we need to know our babies and children and apply what we have read or listen from our parents and friends.

What do I mean by that?

Firstly, our parents have brought us up into this world so they definitely must know a thing or two BUT it also does know means they are always right as time and technology have changed tremendously.

However, I still believe our parents are still most experienced and we should tap their knowledge.

Talking and discussing with our friends, colleagues and fellow parents are another big source of sharing parenting information.

However, listen and then decide what best suit your children as our kids are unique in their own ways. Not everything that works for other children will work for your own kids.

Finally, we will do some reading on our own if we have time. Again, digest what you have read and then modify them to suit your kids needs.

There is no ONE standard parenting manual for us though majority of the ideas may be common..!

Well, it may be tough but it is not any worse than like making any decision for your work or home.

Importantly, you have to be ready to take up the challenge of being a parent before you start a family.

Enjoy and love your children for what they are no matter how much a burden it may seem, at times.

Happy Parenting..!

David

Jason's First Trip Overseas Without Us

2008-11-03T16:34:00.003+08:00

Hi,

My wife & I just sent Jason off to New Zealand, early this morning at the Changi Airport.

While Jason has travelled overseas many times with us but this is the first time he is travelling on his own, though with a group of 9 other schoolmates and 2 of his teachers. This is a school study trip.

So what is the significant or big deal?

Well, he has to be on his own.

What do I mean?

For a start, I guided him in his packing of his luggage so that he knows what he is carrying and where to find all his clothings etc.....

In all the earlier travels with the family, I am the 'butler' and is responsible for all the packing etc...... He will just ask for what he needs and I get it for him from the luggage bag!

Well, there were some disagreements on what he should be wearing etc... but I gave in to him if it did not matter so much but I tried to talk some sense into him and I won most of the time. For eg., I am more concerned about the weather but he is more concerned on how he looks.....! I suggested that he takes his MP3 player with him to listen on the coach when they are on the road for an hour or so and he said no. This morning, he decided that he should be bring it along and we have to look for the charger last minute!

He will be responsible for his passport and the money given to him...etc as the teachers are not going to 'mother' him..!

Well, another major milestone for my teenage son in emerging into a responsible adult!

I have to trust that I have groomed him well all these years and that he is ready to fend for himself.

I was telling my wife that in my teenage days, my brother & I have to apply for our overseas study in Australia, went for the interview in Kuala Lumpur (KL), and flew on our own to Melbourne without any guidance from my parents as they were living and working in KL while we were studying and being cared for my our grandma and aunties in Penang.

My brother & I made it on our own but Jason has so much guidance from the family, so he is so much better off today.

Anyway, while we will miss him for a week but we will not worry too much for him.

We will have to learn to let him go .......

David

Bedtime Stories

2008-11-02T21:56:00.002+08:00

Hi,

We were eating in front of the TV during lunch time today, as it was raining heavily outside so we decided to stay indoors instead.

Guess what was showing on TV?

Power Rangers!

It used to be one of Jason's favourite shows and we spent quite a lot of money buying him those big toys; around S$100+ each. I think we have a complete collection of it and I have not disposed of them till today.

Anyway, my wife was reminding us that Jason used to make us tell him bedtimes stories involving Power Rangers.

The funny thing was that we would make up the stories and in no time, we were actually mumbling or deviated from the story as we actually were falling asleep. Jas would nudged us or woke us up as we were talking nonsense.....ha...ha...ha...

It is true and we both have gotten into such a situation many times...!

Ah... those were the days.....

BTW, Jas seldom slept earlier than mid-night no matter how early we all retired to bed.

And it is even worst, if we played with him in bed as he would be so alert and cannot sleep but we were so tired from work!

DO you have similar experiences...?

David

How To Handle High Fever In Kids

2008-10-27T23:34:00.004+08:00

Hi,

One of the most scariest thing to deal with is when your baby is sick as they are too young to tell you how they feel. So you need to know your baby well and be very observant of their behaviour.

When you observe that your baby is not well; eg. typically, they sleep too much or not as active as usual, you need to feel his forehead and body for high temperature. You should get a child thermometer that measures the temperature by putting the instrument into the ear and not into his mouth or anus.

Of course, the first thing to do is to get the baby or kid to your family doctor and get the necessary medication.

But this is not the end of it!

You still need to monitor the baby in case the fever does not subside but goes up instead especially overnight.

Having spoken to my friends, I learned that you should try to sponge your baby or you can take the baby back to your doctor or to the hospital ( if it is at night to the Accident & Ememrgency section ). We were told that if you take the baby to A&E or the hospital, they are likely to put ICE around the baby and it can be quite a sorry state and very pitiful for the baby.

As such, we have spent the whole night sponging Jason to bring down his fever despite giving him his medicine. This happened to us a few times.

Believe it or not, our friends actually recommended this approach than looking at your baby sleeping with ice around him and you can do nothing but just wait. They said that they felt helpless about the whole situation!

What did we do?

We got a pail of cold water and a face towel. We wet the towel and made sure it was damp and applied it on the chest and under the armpits. We found this most effective through trial and error. Of course we also placed it on his forehead and the feet and hands too. Practically, all over Jason. It sounds easier than said as there were times that Jason resisted the attempts to sponge him. When he is lifeless, you also worry about it.

It is tough but with patience and continuously monitoring the temperature during the progress of the sponging, the temperature will eventaully go down.

I have a disclaimer here.... If you are not comfortable with what I have just shared with you, please do what is best for your baby or child and consult your family docotr or go to the hospital.

BTW, I also do the same for adults too; eg sponging my wife when I came home and found her with high fever and too weak to move at all. If the adult or child is old enough and not too weak, taking a cold shower is another option.

As parents, you will have to decide what is best for your baby or child.

Happy Parenting...!

Jason Playing At Home

2008-10-26T09:09:00.003+08:00

Hi,

Yes, we finally got him home from his nanny after almost a year and with a Philipino maid to look after him while we were at work.

He is 1 year old plus in these photos.

His teeth were starting to come out then.......

Still not able to stand on his own yet .....!

Gosh..... time flies.......! I missed those cutie days .......

Bringing Jason Home

2008-10-22T09:49:00.001+08:00

Finally, we decided to hire a maid and bring Jason home when he was about 1 year old.

We got a Philipino maid and requested my parents to come to Spore to supervise the maid during the first few months. My parents have to cut short their trip in Melbourne to come to Singapore.

The maid was Merle and she took care of Jason for about 2 years before she went home due to the death of her mother. Merle was a very young girl and below 20 years old then; inexperienced too but I cannot remember why we chose her then.

My parents did a good job training Merle and they maintained a good relationship after 2 months of guidance by my parents.

Apparently, Jason was quite naughty and he would beat Merle on her back when he played truant. My mother told me that Merle dare not report him to me as I was very bad temper and she was concerned that I may beat Jason.

That's very nice of her indeed!

Initially, Merle slept with Jason in the second room with the air-con on during the night. We have a remote monitor and realised that Merle slept like a pig and not sensitive to Jason's crying etc.... So we brought Jason to sleep with us instead.

We made every effort to spend time with Jason once we were home; eg feed him and play with him. This was to ensure that Jason does not stick to the maid like glue...ha..ha..ha...

In fact, we managed to get Jason into the nearby Kinderland as we do not want him to be with the maid for 8 - 10 hours during the day while we were at work.

Also, we heard that Kinderland would be in a better position to train or teach Jason to bathe himself, change his clothing etc.... and to socialise with the other children too. In fact, he met his best friend, Ryan Tay, there.

More to come....stay tune!

Jason Almost Blinded

2008-10-21T09:44:00.000+08:00

During his first year as a baby under the care of his nanny, Jas almost got blinded by a large safety pin.

When we arrived at the nanny's home one evening, we saw a long cut across Jason's right cheek. Our hearts sunk and we were speechless for a while.

The nanny said that Jason was playing with the big safety used to hold his nappy in the afternoon.

Luckily, all was well and Jason did not show any signs of trauma over the incident.

Thanks GOD for looking after Jason.

Jason's First Year With His Nanny

2008-10-20T21:32:00.001+08:00

Both LLM & I were almost at the peak of our careers when Jason came into our lives.

Being new parents and still very involved in our careers, we outsourced the caring of our newly born child to a nanny in Pasir Ris.

During the weekdays, we would finish our work around 8pm daily. We would then have our dinner and took a taxi to Pasir Ris to spend at least 1 hour playing with Jason. We would take a taxi back to our home in Opera Estate, reaching around mid-night.

The nanny told us that we need not visit Jason every evening but we felt that we needed to connect with him. Jason would be at the door waiting for us and then would not be so happy to see us go but he never cried.

Every Sat, we look forward to bringing Jason home. Those days, we still worked on Sat so we would have our lunch and then took a taxi to Pasir Ris to fetch him for the weekend.

However, we would find it very taxing looking after Jason being inexperienced parents and without help then; eg the cooking, nappy changing, feeding him. By Sun afternoon, we would look forward to returning him to his nanny. Typically, we would send him back to Pasir Ris after our dinner.

While we were relieved to be home without him, but we started to miss him again....! Ha..ha..ha...

And the whole vicious cycle continued for a year!

Baby to Teenager

2008-10-19T11:23:00.004+08:00

Hi,

Here is our ( my wife & I ) favourite photo of Jason when he was a baby.

We like to put him on our Queen size bed and played with him before we all go to bed.

Jason is so chubby and cute....!

15 years later, with his funky hairstyle.....

Apparently, his classmates introduced him to a hairstylist that only charges S$10 for cutting and styling student hair, including a hairwash too!

My wife took him once to her hair stylist and it cost us S$30 and he has been wanting to have his haircut at her saloon since then...!

Now we save S$20..!!!

Any girsl interested in Jason, please make an appointment for an intereview with his parents first.....ha..ha...

Just joking-lah!

Welcome to My Blog !

2008-10-18T23:56:00.004+08:00

Last year, while I was visiting my parents in Penang, I came across a book written by a Singaporean father on his experiences in his lifetime. This book was dedicated to his only son. It was very enlightening and touching too and I also bought his second book on my next visit.

Since then, I was inspired to write something similar for my only son, Jason.

When I see some of the photos when Jason was a baby, his years in Kinderland and Temasek Primary School days.... it brought back many memories.

Time flies and he has grown into his teens and I have crossed over to the 50s too.....

When he was below 10 years of age, around 8 - 10 years old, I remember that I told him how I wish that time can stand still as he was so cute and lovely to play with during that period. Also, I was scared to lose him when he hit puberty as a friend told me once that I can only have 10 years of his life .... When they reach puberty, they will not want to be seen with us and want his freedom....!

I am glad to say that while Jason does not let me hold his hand in public like when he was a baby or a kid, he is still very close to us. We still spend a lot of time together and weekend is reserve for the family where we go out for meals, some shopping and even a movie occasionally.

So let me take you down my memory lane .....

David